Hi my lil bit!!! How are you my baby??
What's that?? I couldn't hear you over your screaming...
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Really? I'm not holding you?
I mean... is that a problem??? Because this is the first time mommy's sat down all day... truly...
I held you while I cooked dinner... I've changed your diaper and fed you every couple of hours...mommy thinks you're going through a growth spurt...I held you while I ate my lunch... which I did standing as I waited for your bottles to boil...
I actually haven't been to the big bed in 2 days... well...with the exception of when I had to help daddy uhh....find his SOCKS..that's it...remember? it took about 20 minutes and you were really upset?
Mommy can't hold you right now love of my life... because I'm covered in your vomit nnd we both desperately need a bath... but that can wait right? I mean...it's waited this long... and you'll just spit up again two minutes later if not WHILE in the tub so what's the point... you're soooo right about that...
What's that smell you ask? well its us honey... oh not that the OTHER smell??? my my my if its not YOU and its not ME... oooo maybe that pile of dirty laundry mommy hasn't been able to wash yet?? nooo... well... the trash that daddy forgot to take out? hmmm not that... maybe...
oh holy fucking mother of God the chickens burning...
Well... dear baby I just don't know what to tell you... I realize it's not YOUR dinner so you don't care but... what's that? change you please??? but I just did that two minutes ago...
I look tired? well... could be... 3 pots of coffee over 48 hours can only accomplish so much...
you know how you could help mommy?....
sleep sweet baby SLEEP ... in the name of all that is holy take a good hour and a half nap and I PROMISE we will both feel better .... I will fix the burnt dinner and take out the trash... and then perhaps take a bath? toss a load of laundry in maybe?? that would be awesome...
what's that? where's daddy?
ohhhh... daddy's out killing bambi ... but you aren't quite old enough to be traumatized by that analogy yet....
mommy loves you... but when daddy gets home ...ya'll are gonna BOND... YES!!! good ole bonding time with the daddy person... and what am I going to do you ask?
drink heavily...and pass the fuck out...
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love you punkin...
mommy
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