Gift Giving as a Form of Psychopathy

[Ghost Dog]

Well it's Christmas time again, that magical time when you enjoy life with your friends and family.

Your kids, especially your baby and toddler kids will get bunches and bunches of presents from ostensibly -cough- well meaning relatives. Let's help each other decode the secret meaning behind the gifts shall we?

Presents that make incredibly annoying noises and/or come with hundreds of tiny sharp peices (see also the Fucking Legos thread) = I Hate You and This is my Passive Aggressive Way of Letting You Know It

Hand carved "artisan" wooden toy trains or "authentic" Third World toys made by the offspring of the mud hut super moms = I Am the BPE and I am So Much Better than you. I hope you end up in the trailer park you deserve.

Children's story books with beautiful artwork and thoughtful heartwarming messages = I Love You and your children and actually care about your life.

There must be a bunch more. What do YOUR family's gifts to your children tell you about your relatives?

[Mavi]

My mother gives me the hand-carved wooden toys because of made-in-China paranoia

[nomorewirehangers]

Let's see... Mom and dad buy books and legos for Lil man. I know how my mother feels about me already so the legos aren't a shock. My dad generally buys outrageously expensive sporting equipment for his birthday. (golf clubs and nice baseball stuff) in an attempt to be "the best grandfather ever" and bond with him over "mutual interests" Lol my po po daddy.

The inlaws buy him sweets to annoy me and outrageously expensive toys that shoot nerf balls all over the house to break my pretties.


Lil bit... Well this will be her first outing so we shall see I guess Lol

[GeekMom]

My parents are awesome - they ask what the kids might like, and actually buy what the kids will like, but not stuff I say no to.

My inlaws are visiting this planet temporarily from the Planet Wazooliee. They buy fucked up alien things. An indoor horseshoe game. Toys for much younger ages. Books that are snooty and intellectual, but not about anything my kids are actually interested in. SIL buys the kids shirts with snotty sayings that I will not permit them to wear, so they always get returned. Sorry, my kids don't need gangster wear, thanks. The thing is, they ask for suggestions. We give them clear, easy to find, inexpensive suggestions. They buy alien shit.

These are the same people who gave us an audio tape of "Mario Cuomo - the Radio Years" one year. The. Fuck.

[History]

Two wierdest gifts E got this year:

20 oz. hammer with FatMax written on it
Head lamp with three levels of LED lights and adjustable straps

Each from one of my brothers.  Decode please GD!   

[nomorewirehangers]

Indoor flying helicopter.... Thanks for that mawmaw and pawpaw....


And lots of things that make noise....

Oye.

[Monica]

Two wierdest gifts E got this year:

20 oz. hammer with FatMax written on it
Head lamp with three levels of LED lights and adjustable straps

Each from one of my brothers.  Decode please GD!   

 

[Monica]

My MIL got smart and sent each of the kids a gift card this year.  I used it for what I wanted them to have. 

My FIL sent what he always gives the kids which is nada.  What does that mean GD?

[Noodle]

Tball's Aunt & Uncle are world travelers and they always send one of a kind gifts to the boys. This year they got hand carved Kangaroos from Australia. They race..... I think its pretty fucking badass.

For kid 1's birthday last year he got a hand carved Vietnamese frog. It had a little wooden dowl that you rubbed along the ridges of its back and it sounded like the 

[WithoutSanity]

What about people who buy your daughter dress up stuff and a crown.....to make her feel and act even more like a deserving little princess?

Please translate.

LOL

[Kapihopela]

uh oh, is it bad for my kid to spend her life dressed up like a princess?  I swear that girl has spent maybe a dozen days in the last 6 months NOT wearing one of her dress up princess outfits.  I'm not even allowed to call her be her name anymore lol.  'I'm NOT a Sawah mommy I'm a Pincess!!!!!"  Followed by adorable little foot stamp.   She got a pile more princess outfits for christmas this year and princess barbies and princess colouring books and princess....... well you get the picture lol.  So inquiring minds would like to know as well what form of psychopathy we're encouraging.

[Red]

Yeah so we let everyone know we are buying our boys (6,8) a trampoline as to get them OUTSIDE and away from video games...what does everyone else get them? NEW FREAKIN VIDEO GAMES

[nomorewirehangers]

We spent all day in Lil mans room trying to organize all the fun outdoor toys and action figures... And all he could talk about was how he couldn't wait to go to the donors so he could play his new DS....

Sigh.

[Sugarless]

I got exactly what I asked for.. a big boy carseat, a black painted wooden bookcase, a bunch of books to fill it and a ton of feety pajamas. 

Oh, no one got him a piggy bank, but I'll get that for him today maybe.  Got some Target gift cards to burn up.

[Sugarless]

Oh the SIL totally outdid herself.  She got me "Goodnight Moon" and some other cute baby book.. AND feety pj's AND a scroll that has a bunch of info on his birthday.  I got her a lame baby's first Christmas giftset for her infant, but in my defense, she has 3 kids (I got the middle kid a ton of hotwheels and the 14 year old a $15 gift card for iTunes).