I hate my house these days

[GeekMom]

I want a magic wand that can make the following things happen:

-I want all the interior walls painted. Now. We have been in this house 10 years and the downstairs has not been painted in that time.
-I want a new sofa and chair that is not all stained and beat to shit by cats and small boys
-I want a rug in the living room that is not completely disgustingly ratty

And most impossible of all:
I want something to stay clean for more than 5 minutes. Anything. Doesn't matter. I would like to say, clear the dining table, and go an entire 10 minutes without someone putting a book, a dirty class, socks, or legos on it.

Alas, I am broke, and I live with men. And the men seem more interested in puttering and building than painting and cleaning.
If anyone needs me, I will be sneaking off to the house of my friend who has one child and a cleaning service, and I will live in her closet. No one need ever know I am there.

[Ikissedagirl]

-Go paint.  It will make you feel better and paint is NOT expensive.
-Either buy or make couch and chair covers, things that can be removed and washed when they get dirty.  It'll make you feel better.
-Lowe's has some GREAT area rugs, priced well.  Start saving some pennies so you can buy one. 

[ronin]

We painted our downstairs a while ago.  It looked great until Mr. WagnerPowerSprayer got ahold of a paint roller and started sloppily applying paint to all of our ceilings, baseboards, and door frames. 

Then he wouldn't put up the crown molding that he promised he would.  It's been a year and 1/2.

We also have a beat up couch set and rug because our cats and kids would just fuck up a new set anyway.   

I'm a fucking ray of sunshine this morning. 

[fluffyduckbutt]

If it makes anyone feel better....

We bought the house in June.  SInce then we have
-replaced an entire wall studs included since it leaked for years and no one noticed.
-replaced a water neutralizer to then hear we also need a water softener.
-sunroom roof leaks in heavy snow...(we just had 3 feet dumped on us so it will be leaking again)
-and for the Finale...our furnace was not working correctly.  I call heating co and the man comes and says our filter is clogged.  He replaced said filter and left.  Black soot and 2 clogged filters later in 24 hour...I call again and another guy comes and actually fixes the furnace.  (at least we hope.  2 friends are telling us it is more complicated than furnace guys indicated and we might need new furnace)

Sooooooo with 3 foot of snow on the ground, I am cleaning soot from 2 freshly painted rooms.  Swiffer on the remainder since they are painted with flat paint.  Vacuum, hand wash all floors...(thank god for hardwood) and dust every piece of furniture.

I was going to spring clean when I was off this summer.  Guess now I won't have to.

[GeekMom]

We went and browsed couches and chairs today. I have two questions:

a) What salesman in their right mind would see us coming with two rambunctious boys and try to sell us a leather sofa? I mean really? These guys and the cats would destroy it in minutes.

b) Who the fuck decided that brown and blue go together? I saw a pretty decent chocolate brown sofa with a comfy chair, and that fucked up aquamarine color on the throw pillows. No, there was no alternative (discount place). I don't care what Fashion Avenue says - those two colors DO NOT go together.

What I want is my old couch, just not hideous. However, we priced out getting it repaired and recovered, and it would be as much as a new set.

I feel bad - I went on a total ragefest at the guys tonight. I am so sick of living in a dirty house. I am so tired of stepping on fucking legos, papers, art projects, pencils, and discarded socks. Next person who fails to clean their dishes, dies. 

[Monica]

I went off on my boys too GM.  Mine like to "cook" in the kitchen, and they make a great big HUGE mess.  I was livid when I went downstairs, and Tyler had made that big of a mess.  I'm tired of it too.  I think we should ship them all off to a deserted island that they can all trash together.

[GeekMom]

Well isn't Lost going to be over soon? They'll need to do something with that island...

[Ikissedagirl]

b) Who the fuck decided that brown and blue go together? I saw a pretty decent chocolate brown sofa with a comfy chair, and that fucked up aquamarine color on the throw pillows. No, there was no alternative (discount place). I don't care what Fashion Avenue says - those two colors DO NOT go together.

Says the woman who herself says she's fashion challenged. 

You can ALWAYS replace throw pillows.   

So your couch needs to be repaired, not just covered?  Because sofa covers are MUCH cheaper than buying a brand new one.

[Ikissedagirl]

I found sofa covers at Big Lots today, twenty-five bucks.

[GeekMom]

b) Who the fuck decided that brown and blue go together? I saw a pretty decent chocolate brown sofa with a comfy chair, and that fucked up aquamarine color on the throw pillows. No, there was no alternative (discount place). I don't care what Fashion Avenue says - those two colors DO NOT go together.

Says the woman who herself says she's fashion challenged. 

You can ALWAYS replace throw pillows.   

So your couch needs to be repaired, not just covered?  Because sofa covers are MUCH cheaper than buying a brand new one.

I think my particular couch would look goofy with couch covers. It's pretty puffy and the puffy cushions under the cover would just look lumpy, IMHO. The bigger problem is that the back cushions are coming all unsewed due to kids leaping on them. That plus a couple of holes here and there on the sides makes me think a new one is in order.

I know once can just replace throw pillows. But it seems to me if I am paying a wopping hunk of change for a sofa, might as well get one that I like right out of the box.

[Ikissedagirl]

Just trying to offer you some solutions.    The point is, if you REALLY like the brown couch and clearly it's been discounted so it's a good deal, it'd be really easy and inexpensive to add some different throw pillows.  OR, just get over your lack of fashion sense and get with the program and love blue and brown together.   

Couches are expensive and it's the foam used for the cushions as well as the upholstery that makes it so (ask me how I know  )  I can almost guarantee you that it'd be more expensive to have someone build you a new couch, your design, whatever, than it would be to buy a couch at a discount place and replace the throw pillows. 

As far as the couch cover, you might be surprised.  If you get it home and hate it, take it back.

[GeekMom]

I should probably look into the covers, although I still think it would look wierd. I'm having flashbacks to my Great Aunt Helen's house - she had all those clear plastic covers on the furniture all the time. I know, those things aren't around any more, but if you say 'couch cover' to me I think of my Aunt. Wonderful lady, but covered EVERYTHING in plastic so it wouldn't get dirty, and packed everything else in mothballs. Plastic and mothballs - my entire memory of Aunt Helen...

I actually saw another couch in a different store today that I like better, that actually has options for the pillows. All I have to do now is sell one of these extra children...

[Ikissedagirl]

I remember a friend I had in middle school whose parents had those plastic runners all over the carpets in their house. 

I really hope you do find something that you like and that it's not at all painful, emotionally or financially.    Oh, and tell those boys to keep their grubby bodies OFF the new furniture. 

[GeekMom]

Why do you think I am looking at chocolate colored sofas?

Actually, I need one the color of cat puke and red wine, with some sprinkles of popcorn and dirty footprints. Then they could do what they wanted - no one would ever know...