Children can't drink until 21, vote until 18, or drive until at least 16. Yet they can record annoying "greetings" on their parent's answering machines as soon as they're old enough to gurgle! And the rest of us have to suffer through this nonsense every time we call their parents!!!
Enough is enough.
Since the Federal Communications Commission has the power to regulate our nation's telecommunications, we the undersigned request that the next President of the United State make it a top priority to legally prohibit any child under the age of 9 from recording an answering machine message on his or her parents phone. Violations of this law will be punished by fines, imprisonment, and/or public shame, whichever is more fun to watch.