Thursday, March 13th, 2008...12:25 am
#1: $1000 Strollers
Expensive strollers are a must-have for Best Parents. It doesn’t matter if the stroller is cumbersome and doesn’t fold easily into the trunk. It’s status that counts. If you’re sporting a $1000 stroller, it means you love your child more than other parents, and will only give them the absolute best.
Best Parents will go to any length to show off their expensive stroller. Farmers Markets in upscale neighborhoods exist solely as a showcase for Best Parents to show off their $1000 strollers.
Also, Best Parents can’t just have the $1000 stroller by itself. They need accessories. And the more accessories they have, the better. Who can live without a parasol AND a sun canopy? Parents who don’t love their children as much as Best Parents do.
Most importantly, Best Parents are trying to inspire their non-white nannies. By having their nanny push a stroller that cost more than one month of her salary, the nanny will certainly have that kick in the pants she needed to get her ass in gear and become a legal citizen.
If you encounter a Best Parent pushing their $1000 stroller, and you’re pushing your stroller from Wal*Mart, don’t sweat it too much. You’ve already made the Best Parent’s day. After all, the main goal of a Best Parent is to feel superior.
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21 Comments
March 20th, 2008 at 3:58 am
If you find that you can’t splurge on the $1,000 Bugaboo stroller and matching accessories, you can at least try to show whiteness by spending $300 or so on a Britax carseat. They seem to be THE carseat to have among the white parents I know. Most buy two Britax seats – one for each car, even though Dad rarely goes anywhere with the kid.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:50 am
don’t forget the carseats..they go crazy over the proper car seat…in a car seat til what age?
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
$1000 for a stroller?! I about pooped myself when my wife brought home a $150 stroller.
0 for 1 for this white parent.
April 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
OMG this is so cliche… i LOVE IT
April 21st, 2008 at 12:46 am
You forgot to mention that white parents also push their children around in stroller until they go to college.
If the kid can walk and run and cuss you out in a store, his ass needs to be walking. If he can undo the belt of his stroller and remove himself… WALK!!!
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Pretty funny stuff…I did notice that black people push their babies in a $2 stroller. They fold better and it’s easy to store them in the $100k bling bling Escalade.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Thanks for submitting your post to the Mommy Blog Carnival. I’ve included it in the next edition on May 15th hosted at my own site The So Called Me. Be sure to stop by and see what other participants are talking about!
Have an awesome day!
April 28th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
This article has been included in the latest edition of Mom’s Blogging Carnival
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:48 am
Don’t you know, strollers are so yesterday. Baby slings are all the rage now, just look at the celebs. http://www.mammasmilk.com/pages/celebrities.php
June 28th, 2008 at 4:09 am
You are hilarious. Do you live in my neighborhood??? Seriously, your posts have made me laugh my ass off for the past 30 minutes. I swear you must live down the street from me, we have the status symbol Farmers Market down the street and the Whole Foods just another mile past that. Too funny.
August 23rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I see nothing wrong with a Bugaboo stroller, or a Britax carseat. Do you people have nothing better to do with your time that pick on parents with good taste? Just kidding,but I though it would raise an eyebrow,just for a minute
I am the proud owner of a Chicco stroller and Eddie Bauer car seat,priced together WAY under $1K.
August 30th, 2008 at 5:54 am
I did laugh at a few of the comments these parents made, but I am happy with my $200 umbrella stroller. I think I do my best for my kids and I don’t have to prove it by buying $1000 strollers. geezzz I could use all that money for buying the other things my kids needs. But if someone would want to give me one as a present I would be happy to take it.
September 15th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I’m a very bad mommy. I bought two strollers at yard sales: one cost $20 (I don’t even remember the brand) and one was a $40 used Graco double stroller. And then I ditched them both when kid #2 was 2.5 and made them walk. It’s much cheaper to be a bad mommy, and when someone spills a messy drink on a $40 stroller, it’s not such a big deal.
September 25th, 2008 at 7:08 am
I’m happy with my home made stroller. the dog pulls it, so my lazy ass don’t have to push it. 😉
October 14th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
I understand that not everyone needs a $1000 stroller. If all you do is mini-van your kids to the park, mall, and dance class, then you obviously have different needs than someone who takes the train or walks everywhere (including places with stairs). If you ask me, I needed my $1000 Xplory. It goes up stairs easily, I can use it as a high chair in restaurants, my child is close to me so I can talk to him and attend to his needs on our long walks, and he can see more than people’s kneecaps and car exhaust when we’re going across town. Not only does it push easily, but I can fit a weeks worth of groceries in the bag and still not have to work at getting up the stairs to our apt. Oh, and I’m not white. And I work for a non-profit.
It really bothers me when other people need to feel superior by putting down other peoples spending habits without knowing anything about them.
October 17th, 2008 at 12:27 am
“I needed my $1000 Xplory”
No you didn’t. There are many strollers for half that amount (or less – but certainly for half) that do everything you “needed” your Xplory for.
“Oh, and I’m not white. And I work for a non-profit.”
Translation: I’m feel guilty, am pretty damn vain, and self-righteous!
Thanks for playing!
October 25th, 2008 at 2:10 am
i LOVE THE WAY WHITE MOMS LOOK AT ME WITH MY 1K STROLLER! LIKE I’M NOT SUPPOSE TO ONE. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!
December 10th, 2008 at 12:01 am
You go Tara!
And “Reality Check”…find something more productive to do with your life than criticize, analyze and demean people you don’t know.
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:35 am
Has anybody else heard these stupid stollers being called “SUV Strollers”? I hate those things! Best Parents think it’s o.k. to run you over with those even when they have eight feet of room around you.
January 8th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
this was my favorite.. i work for an airline and this is how it works.. most people take their strollers to the gate with them and then they have to be gate checked.. most parents do not break the stroller down and the bag loaders have to do it instead.. the result: approximately 7 in 10 of the expensive strollers are damaged.. you need a 20 page manual to break them down and they have too many moving parts that get damaged on the way to the aircraft.. but after 2 years i have never seen an umbrella stroller damaged in this process.. HAHAHA