Friday, March 14th, 2008...9:50 pm
#5: Baby Wearing
For the Best Parent who can’t afford the $1000 stroller (shudder), there’s only one acceptable alternative. Baby wearing. Since the Best Parent wants to give the appearance that they are a better parent than you, they will explain that baby wearing is a good “bonding” experience.
The Best Parent will also claim 
they came up with the idea of baby wearing while at their local Mommy and Me class. They will turn their noses up to any suggestion that African women have been wearing their babies, using their head scarf, while balancing a jug of water and a sack of potatoes on their head, and selling hand made jewelry at the local market, for thousands of years.
The Best Parent will argue that they too need their hands free. They can’t possibly be expected to read the label of their biodegradable soy based diaper wipes at Whole Foods if they are pushing little Zoe in her stroller.
Baby wearing also helps for public breastfeeding, which by the way, the Best Parent also invented. Take that, impoverished women of Africa!
And, as every Best Parent knows, overwhelming self-absorption is a potential conflict with child rearing. While thinking solely of themselves, baby wearing prevents the Best Parent from actually misplacing their child. They will know exactly where they are at all times. Right next to their designer handbag.
For more “helpful” parenting tips, join the BPE Discussion Board!
34 Comments
March 18th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Hee hee! Love it!
March 28th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I think I dislike this blog. I need to move on.
It seems too cute, sarcastic, and insults my better judgement.
I wish you luck but really…this isn’y even mildly witty.
March 28th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Yeah, I think I agree with tamblu here, this is just racist bullshit.
Moving on.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:45 am
I have never come across something like this. I completely agree with what you have said about white parents.
“They will know exactly where they are at all times. Right next to their designer handbag.”
It might sound too harsh but in 90% cases this the fact.
Cool blog.
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:13 am
“For the white parent who can’t afford the $1000 stroller (shudder), there’s only one acceptable alternative. Baby wearing.”
Ahhh, but I know so many who spend so much more on carriers…a $50o ring sling? I’m sure it’s lovely, but your kid is going to either barf on it or poop in it. Classy.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I totally agree with this one. I’m African and I’ve grown up in Canada. What bothers me about this one is that traditionally the baby is carried on the back, not in front of you. If you’re gonna jack something, do it right. Can’t stand Baby Bjorn carriers.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
My wife has used the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder with both our kids…
1 for 5.
April 6th, 2008 at 12:06 am
This is funny. Wen I bought my first ring sling for $20, I thought it was better than a bjorn. When I bought my first wrap for $40, I thought it was more supportive. Never did I think it made me “better” than someone else, or did I think it was a must have for proper development and bonding. And anyone that knows other moms that babywear, knows the origin of it, and it’s not just from Africa, hence the Mei Tais, ABC carriers, etc.
Sometimes, people are just doing what appeals to them, not trying to say they’re better… Do I sense an inferiority complex?
April 28th, 2008 at 3:57 am
I’ve never heard of a babywearing or public BFing mom trying to claim she “invented” it. In fact we usually do it because it IS the more natural thing hence why it’s been so tried and true in so many cultures for so many years. I love that some brilliant mamas hundreds to thousands of years ago came up with this, and I feel sorry for the people who don’t BF or babywear because they’re too clouded by modern “conveniences” .
April 30th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Perhaps you should find out who baby wears besides your current perception of rich white mommies. There is an entire online community of women from across the world that baby wear and support each other and while some are rich others are not. You also should check out the fact that not just African women have been baby wearing for centuries but indigenous people across the globe have been wearing babies. Look at the Sacajewa golden dollar, there is her baby on her back or the mei tai an asian tradition of a tie carrier. Obviously you have a very narrow view of the world.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Umm I babywear only cause that is what works for me, I have never once claimed to have invented it, I give women of other cultures all the credit.. I am not nearly wealthy.. I wear my babies in what ever carry I find comfy for us at the time… I do not use a bjorn.. I wrap, or mei tai or use a ringsling.
I do it cause I like being close to my babies and toddlers. I don’t have a stroller cause I cant steer one right and I like being hands free.
I just happen to LOVE wearing my babies and kids. I dont consider myself better than anyone for it.
this blog sounds a bit bitter?
May 1st, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Funny. I use both slings, wraps and a stroller. Even if you pool them all, I don’t think I’ve spent $1000. What does this make me? A poor parent who thinks she’s holier than thou, perhaps.
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:24 am
This doesn’t even make sense. How are you going to insult an entire group of people for preferring to hold their babies rather than have them far away from them? Babies have a biological need for physical contact with their caregivers. Babywearing helps to meet this need as every single culture has recognized with their own forms of baby carriers.
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I love babywearing because it makes life easier for me and happier for my children, not because of any desire to make me “better” than anyone else. And as a military family with 3 kids, we’re far from rich. Just another family wanting to meet our children’s needs.
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:09 pm
I’ve never heard any babywearing or breastfeeding advocates claim to have invented the practice. If anything they have utmost respect for cultures that have been practicing it for centuries where it is still mainstream today. Sure with our consumer driven culture and the desire to outdo other people drives many people to access but even those people seem to respect not only babywearing cultures but those who are able to keep a simple “stash”.
Babywearing doesn’t make you a better parent but it is a good thing.
It may not be carrying a jug of water on my head but having my daughter in a sling helps me be a work at home mother while giving my baby the attention she needs.
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Wow, this is extremely offensive. What do you have against people who were their babies? I’m an avid babywearer and you better believe that we know and love the origin of babywearing. Sounds like someone has some guilt issues!
May 8th, 2008 at 2:35 am
I assume this is very ‘tounge in cheek”…It was mildly funny, mildly offensive…but again, I assume the author(esse) is being sarcastic.
But to put in a historical context, mamas and caregivers in almost all cultures have carried their babies on their person because strollers didn’t exist until quite frequently and mamas have had to get “stuff done” in order for their families to survive. Also carries ones child on the body is not solely an African “thing”…as mentioned above, it’s indigenous to almost all cultures, even European (pre-Industral revolution)…
Also using a cloth to carry ones child has also historically been something that the non-elite did. Because, let’s be honest, if you were a mother from a wealthy, upper class family in whatever society and in whatever time…generally you had someone else care for your child(ren) so traditionally members of the elite did NOT carry their babies on their person because someone else took care of their babies. It was the mamas who had to tend the fields, cook dinner, gather firewood, walk to the markets, sell excess produce, etc who had to use a piece of cloth to tie their babies to their bodies.
So this whole concept of babywearing is for white elites is quite a change from the historical reality.
I have a bit of info on my blog about babywearing in other cultures, if anyone is interested, do check it out.
May 20th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Boy, i am really missing out on something if I’m supposed to be a rich babywearer. I guess i’m not portraying the right look with my target jeans, $3 clearance shoes, and my Moby wrap. Will somebody please buy me a Coach bag to replace my holey wallet?
I’m sorry if your offended because my baby prefers to be held, fusses less when she’s in my arms, and hey look at that I can actually vacuum while holding my kid.
May 24th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Dude!!!! You need some education in both babywearing, baby rearing in general and humour!!!!
If you have kids I feel sorry for them.
Mel from http://www.handsfreebabystuff.com.au
May 24th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
LOL to all the haters… grow a pair! seriously…
if you can;t work out that this blog is tongue in cheek than more fool you!!
oh and i “wore” my baby! and yet oh my goddess i still have a sense of humour! does that exclude me from your exclusive club or what?
May 29th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
haha, you’ve certainly stirred a hornets nest of offended women haven’t you, settle down ladies, move on and ignore.
June 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
OMG. I adore you. I was once attacked on a forum, because I didnt want to baby wear. I have still NEVER found a need or urge to do it and my little guy is 7mths old and very bright and doesnt have any issues the “parents” said he was going to get from not wearing him.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
FUNNY!!! For everyone who is getting offended, she is just making fun. Calm down. We know you baby wear for a good reason and that you are truly “bonding” and all that good stuff. Lighten up.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Melissa-
I hope you say “humor” like “yuma”, you know, like the guy in Good Morning Vietnam did who told Robin William’s character what was funny and what wasn’t. You sound just as yumaless to me. You need a lesson in laughing at your babywearing self.
-a prius-driving mom who uses a bjorn and an ergo carrier (i know, they aren’t as good as the pseudo african kind you use) and who thinks this s**t is funny.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
everyone needs to calm down and get a sense of humor!! – this is obviously meant as a funny web blog…baby wearing is great. I don’t have a baby yet, but i do have a bjorn for my chihuahua so I can carry her around whilst running errands
October 31st, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I think it’s perfect. Sure, the hipster mamas pay homage to the ancient cultures about it, that’s what they do. They rip off something people have just been doing for centuries and give it a cute little name. I can bet you the indigenous woman with her baby in a rebozo so she can grind the corn isn’t going around calling herself a “babywearer.”
November 11th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
[…] note : I am going to link to a post on a really funny blog called Best Parent Ever. They are making fun of babywearers and even though I love the blog on this post they are waaay off base. It’s all in good fun […]
February 14th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Funny entry (As your others are).
Personally, I find it funny that people would spend more than $10 for a rebozo in order to carry their babies.
As a Mexican, I was aware of carrying your babies in a rebozo for a long time, and I plan to do this if I ever have children (Which I doubt). Besides, I have more than enough rebozos (All under $10) which are perfect enough for the task.
Furthermore, I do find it funny to see this old custom to be so…anglo-ized! Change the form, up the price, and then it becomes acceptable to the Anglo community.
March 31st, 2009 at 4:12 am
I think the blog is more for people who find the BPE obnoxious as hell than it is for parents (Best ever or otherwise)
I laughed at this one. I work with a woman who gets on my last nerve about her baby. Brings him to work, ok fine. I’m not expecting her to hire a nanny. But that means that she has to stop working every 4 minutes because he’s fussing. She won’t formula feed him, so that means no one can give him a bottle when she’s busy. We have to try and ignore him until she’s free to sit in the reception area and publicly breast feed him.
She also wears him while working, which inevitably fails since it’s a dog-grooming salon. Then calls one of the other employees to come and take him so she can do her job. Meaning the other girl now has to be on baby-duty until mom is done. Forget about clients or work she needs to do. Momma’s baby comes first.
July 7th, 2009 at 5:35 am
Every baby is different my little one seems to fit right on what the age on the clothes are my middle one was always smaller than on infant clothes now she is in taller sizes than average she is 7 and is as tall as most 10 year old my 10 year old was in bigger than normal sizes as an infant now is smaller than average he is the oldest in his class and is the smallest one in his class
November 1st, 2009 at 11:34 pm
I’ve bought a cloth sling for my secondborn (due in 6 weeks), but mostly so I can continue to put the eldest in the buggy when her legs get tired without having to buy a new buggy that’ll fit both of them in. Then hopefully, by the time Child the Younger is getting too heavy for my lazy bones, Child the Elder will be out of the buggy full-time and I can just transfer the sibling into it.
Oh, and the fact that I’ve thought this through makes me WAY better than all you mums who use double buggies. ;P