Monday, June 23rd, 2008...5:46 pm
#43: Best Single Parent Ever
Sad but true: even in divorce, the Best Parent Ever is still better than you.
How can this be? Isn’t the dissolution of a marriage one of the most traumatic events in every parent’s life? Well, yes, but the Best Parent Ever has found a way to put the “vision” in “division of assets.” And it’s not just about cashing out on community property. It’s about saying it loud and proud: “I’m a single parent! Feel sorry for me too!”
In the old days, a wealthy ex-wife was typically known as a “divorcee.” Now everyone’s a “single parent.” It doesn’t matter if they’re flush with million-dollar divorce settlements or a few thousand dollars of child support each month. The Best Single Parent Ever demands — no, they require — our sympathy as well. Thus, please imagine that “traditional” single mom, with her multiple, slave-wage jobs, disease-stricken hordes of children, and long-gone deadbeat dads. The life of the Best Single Parent Ever is EXACTLY like that, but without any of the hard stuff.
So take that, dumb-ass, welfare mother of ten! The Best Single Parent Ever has just stolen your sympathy vote and claimed your moral high ground, which, by the way, in their world has a beachfront view. Sure, the Best Single Parent Ever struggles too… with nannies, boarding school, and demanding social schedules. “It’s Complicated,” as well-to-do, self-proclaimed, single mother Denise Richards declares in the title of her new reality show. No, it’s not “complicated.” It’s the Best Single Parent Ever.
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13 Comments
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:16 pm
What is the purpose of this blog posting? Need a microscope to find the satire and humor here.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
hahahaha!!! ROFL!!!
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:59 pm
How can you not comprehend the satire and humor? So many people claim all the hardships of singleparenthood without actually going through any of the hardships. Then they demand your respect because of their position in life, when in reality respect is something that needs to be earned.
I have the utmost respect for any parent who does what they feel is right for their child. My dad was a single parent. But he didnt get my respect because of that status alone. It was his actions that spoke louder than some category he was shoved into. And that’s only one division of the satire. Let’s not even start ( in this one anyway ) on the whole welfare thing. I mean if I have to hear one more time how women are popping out babies for assistance I might just scream. I think people who make ignorant comments like that must not know anything of the welfare system at all. There is a cap not only on monetary benefits, but lifetime benefits as well. 5 years, per federal guidelines. I seriously doubt 5 years of minimal assistance is enough to raise a child which takes a LIFETIME.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Melissa, if you don’t understand then it’s clear that you are not a single mom who has to struggle to make ends meet and then listen to these woman try and say they have it just as hard.
I am a single mom of 2 and other then the $400 a month I get in child support, I get no help from the father and struggle every month to make sure all the bills are paid on time and the kids have all their needs met. Forget about “mommy time” and mommy’s needs are never met.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Ever parent is the best ever, just like every daughter, son is the perfect angel…
Chris
June 24th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
ahh BPE, you’ve been to my neighbourhood again. Moaning over their fair trade triple skinny lattes about how they might have to sell the cottage. It’s frickin’ tragic.
Melissa – get a clue
Chris – get a grip. If every parent is “best ever” doesn’t that make us all “most average ever” too? I’m cool with that, my averagidity, but are you? Are the twatty BPEs this blog is about cool with that? NFW. Cuz if this blog were called “Most Average Parent” it could also be called “Most boring blog ever” and none of us would be here.
What our fearless blogger is doing here is exposing the self-righteous sense of entitlement and superiority displayed by a certain breed of parent who think they are bett er than yoiu because they have masters degrees and $1,000 strollers. Fuck em all.
June 24th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Ghost Dog: Did you know you have a fan club?
June 25th, 2008 at 4:25 am
OMG! Did I write this blog? A co-worker with a six figure salary just got divorced (her ex earns as much or more) and whines about being a “single mom”. They have 50-50 parenting time and she didn’t get any child support or maintenance. WAHHHHH! I have been raising my child SOLO for seven years and make no where near six figures. And child support or maintenance, puh-leeze. For her to think she has a fraction of the challenges I face makes me sick. If she goes on a business trip, gets sick or wants to take a vacation with one of her boyfriends, she and her ex switch days … OHHHHH, the AGONY!
Melissa: DIVORCED parent and SINGLE parent are NOT the same thing. DUH.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
no, I didn’t know I had a fan club. That’s narcissistically delicious! Thanks!
June 25th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
You are so right! My husband’s ex-wife is currently with her third husband, has never been single for more than a year, receives child support and owns her own business, and never gets tired of telling people what a martyr she is because she is a single mom. Her son spends more time with his father who is only allowed to see him four days a month than he does with her who spends most of her time at her business.
Women who leave their husbands for the sole reason that they have another boyfriend should not be allowed the ‘single parent’ label, just the ‘stupid, selfish parent.’
July 2nd, 2008 at 7:44 pm
So what you’re saying is, no matter how many non-white nannies I employ or how many hours I spend homeschooling little Max and Ava, I’ll still never be as good as Dina Lohan?
Sigh.
August 20th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Chelle,
Relax. Your life is hard enough. She is not making fun of you.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Yea i agree, i’ve met alot of single mum’s who are really successful now, and i’m alwayz in awe when i hear thier stories. I guess as long you can put it together, and put in the effort you can win.