Monday, June 30th, 2008...4:48 pm
#45: Homeschooling
The Best Parent Ever is not better than you because they homeschool their children. They are better than you because they make a big deal about it.
What do the rest of us get? Mostly… a lot of homework. There are plenty of parents out there spending two or three hours a day doing after-school assignments with their children. Is that not homeschooling too? Those children just happen to go to a big building with people calling themselves teachers inside it between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m. every day.
| Do they actually learn anything at these big buildings that, they are told, are highly-regarded public grammar schools (they must be “good” — look at all the homework they give)? Who knows? And who cares? They’re out of the house for most of the day, seeing their friends, and learning the ridiculous social structures of our society that will help them later in life. As for cursive writing and state capitals? That’s what homeschooling, er, homework is for. |
So take that, Laura Ingalls, studying your crummy phonics in that Little House on the Prairie. If you wanted a REAL education, you should have gone to a large, urban public elementary school with a few thousand kids who do nothing all day. As it is, you’ll just have to settle for a clumsy moral victory as the prototype for that incredible, homeschooling, Best Parent Ever.
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30 Comments
June 30th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
I don’t get this post. First of all, Laura Ingalls wasn’t homeschooled – she went to a public school, albeit a one-room one. Unlike all the other posts, this one just wasn’t funny. Most Best Parents Ever don’t homeschool their kids – they send them to elitist schools that they have to beg and fight to get into.
July 1st, 2008 at 3:17 am
Um, Laura Ingalls was never homeschooled. She stayed in school despite tremendous obstacles, lack of money, old shoes, no transportation, etc., but still kept going until she actually graduated early. Try researching…
July 1st, 2008 at 3:26 am
Homeschooling vs public schools? The choice is simple. Check out for some convincing headlines against choosing the public education system.
July 1st, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I think homeschool moms are in a completely different ball park than BPE’s. Homeschool mom’s tend to be about 3-4 income brackets lower and appeal to most of the mud hut mom ways of parenting. They’re also usually very religious and tend to gravitate towards more extreme religious views.
I speak from experience, I was homeschooled from the 4th grade until I graduated from high school… and I’m not weird.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
People are awfully literal nowadays. Research on Miss Ingalls may be a little off, but the point of the blog remains the same; BPE’s just think they are better than everyone else.
A BPE is best defined (in my personal opinion) as a smug person who no matter WHAT they do is going to claim that it is the absolute best and only way to raise a child. Many BPE’s do actually homeschooling.
And the public education system, while flawed, is still much more qualified to teach children than a lot of parents (BPE’s included) that I personally know. (If for no other reason than social skills development. Most homeschooled children I’ve encountered are completely incapable of interacting with people outside their immediate family. Not all, but most. There are of course exceptions to every rule.)
My child attends public school (albeit a state and nationally recognized district…) and is well ahead of the curve education wise. My husband and I both attended public schools and have advanced degrees. (And ours was an inner city “scary” school. No kidding, there is actually still riot footage available on YOUtube.)
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Some people walk away from plane crashes, but that’s no reason to hop in an under fueled jet.
July 7th, 2008 at 7:21 am
I just don’t agree with this post at all.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:14 am
I don’t get this post either. Usually this blog is funny, but this post sort of leaves me scratching my head…
July 8th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
nomorewires is right on the money here.
Just me – homeschoolers come in many stripes – yes there are overly religious low income homeschoolers, but there are also a lot of classic BPE yuppie home schoolers who think they are better than the school system and turn their children in little science experiments.
Some YMCAs have programs for homeschoolers so they can have swimming and phys-ed in their home school life. Staff will tell you they can spot the home schoolers a mile away – badly behaved, unsure of the normal rules of social interaction, still full of themselves.
I am, in general, against home schooling. There is a lot more to teach a kid in school than the ABCs, like:
– you are not the center of the universe. Those other children, and the teacher are just as important as you.
– you are sharing space in this town, city, neighborhood, whatever with the smart kids, the dumb kids, the poor kids and the butt ugly kids. And every single one of them has as much right to be here as you, my little precious.
– you are part of a community, and it matters. Public matters. In public, we tolerate people, even BPE brats.
– there are other adults besides your parents that you should learn to trust, learn from, be friends with. It is vitally important to your child’s development that he/she have adults outside the family circle that are positive role models. Often, teachers are just that.
That’s what I want to teach my kids. That’s what they learn in PUBLIC school. They can learn how to be good little spreadsheet drones later.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Don’t forget that a lot of kids are homeschooled BECAUSE they don’t socialize well.
And, if your child is part of a church, they get exactly the kind of social interaction a school provides. Also, most homeschoolers today are involved with some sort of support system, such as a co-op.
Given the standards most children are reared with these days – promiscuity, rudeness, etc – why would anyone want their children to learn behavior from other children anyway?
July 9th, 2008 at 9:30 am
But Ghost dog, all of those things can be taught outside a school setting. Most homeschool families are part of a bigger homeschool community. This is outside of church, sports, and other activities the children partake in. As with anything, your kids will get out of it what you’re willing to put into it.
It was always implied to me, all growing up, that homeschool kids were different, weird and missing out. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that weird parents tend to make weird children. I went to school with plenty of weird children. I’ve met quite a few “normal” adults whom I later found out had been homeschooled. I have no doubt that there are some kids who aren’t thriving under their parents tutelage, just as I’m sure there are some kids who would do so much better in a home setting.
It was when my husband was in the process of getting his teaching credential that we made the decision that we would homeschool our children until they decided they wanted to attend public school. Some of the other students he encouraged made him cringe. I know not all teachers are bad, but I’ve had some bad ones in my lifetime and you can’t pick your teachers, at least here you can’t anyway.
I’ve just never liked the idea that a stranger with a degree is somehow more qualified to teach my own children than myself, that because I gave birth to them that I am somehow unqualified. I also have a degree, but no credential. I will fully concur that there are some parents that have no business teaching their kids, and some just aren’t cut out for it. But that doesn’t mean we should all lose that right, because just a few of them are morons.
July 9th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Apologies for the typos. It was late last night and I was tired.
July 9th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
calimom, you make some very good and reasonable points. It is no more fair for me to make negative generalizations about home schooling than it is to make positive generalizations about the public school system, all based on limited first hand experience.
I had some bad teachers, my kids have had some doozy bad teachers, but taking the good with the bad is part of life.
I guess the main point of my comment is that I appreciate the public realm aspect of the public education system. I know a lot of Americans might think we are all socialists up here in Canada, but in truth the “public realm” has all but disappeared in the province of Ontario over the past ten years, and the school system is nearly all we have left to show our kids they are part of something all inclusive and larger than themselves. Faith based communties, educational philosophy based communities, all might be worthy and productive collections of people but they are voluntary associations of private indviduals. Only public is public and I feel there is intrinsic value in that.
Gawd I can be naive sometimes, but that is what I believe.
Cheers!
July 15th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Most Best Parents look down on homeschooling because it “hurts their children socially” and *gasp* might teach them too much religion. Seriously, dude, this is coming from someone who was homeschooled growing up and is now homeschooling her kids. BPE’s do not approve of this decision. They think all homeschoolers are hippies or hillbillies.
July 17th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Of course, it goes without saying, that a parent should only homeschool if they are intellectually capable of doing a good job. That being said, I don’t understand the resentment towards homeschooling parents. It takes a lot of sacrifice to homeschool your own children. I am not saying it’s necessarily better for every child or family, but it takes far more research, resources, determination and committment to your kids to do a good job. Given this underlying reality, I think a lot of the resentment comes from parents who feel guilty that they aren’t willing or capable of putting that kind of time or committment into their own children. It’s much easier to sit back and say how one group of mothers thinks they’re the “best parents ever,” which is obviously counterproductive and immature.
Staying at home with your kids takes a lot of sacrifice; being responsible for their social and educational development adds to that considerably. But isn’t this why we have kids? It gives us the opportunity to create new life, and to give that new life more than what we had.
There is so much sex and attitude in schools and society today. If I can shelter my child from that, I have the obligation and responsibility to do just that.
I am 4 months pregnant, and am currently an investment analyst at a real estate firm. I have given my notice because I do not want anyone else raising my children, and b/c I was smart enough to marry a man that would afford me that opportunity.
I am looking seriously at homeschooling, as I am confident I could do a good job (I was educated publicly and raised in daycare). If I don’t homeschool, I am looking at classical schooling through a conglomerate of churches here.
July 18th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Chelsey – good for you! You sound articulate and smart, I’m sure you will be able to do it. It’s hard though. It takes commitment, but the biggest thing it requires is discipline. It’s hard too, but totally worth your effort. Good luck!
July 21st, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Val, thanks so much for the encouragement!
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Children need the sozilization skills that Public or Private schools offer. They are going to have to face the real world one day so just holding onto them and keeping them “caged” is just plain wrong!
July 24th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Real world = Spending eight hours a day with 30 people my age, listening to sadly ingnorant propaganda coming from the mouth of a person who’s entire qualification is the inability to earn more than 30k a year. Thanks for convincing me KayleesMom! Thanks, but I’ll teach my kids logic, language, and geography. I’ll unlock the cage, though, for league sports, world travel, nights at the theater, etc. Maybe if I’m lucky they’ll close their eyes and miss this whole other real world I’m trying to expose them to!
July 24th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
My apologies, KayleesMom. I thought you were discussing socialization. Sozilization may be something one can only pick up in public or private schools. Btw, if the noun isn’t proper, neither are any adjectives which may modify it.
August 22nd, 2008 at 7:50 am
In the BOOKS Laura learns at home because they were pioneers (one of the first families to settle an area). Homeschooling makes wierd little kids that get only one point of view.
October 17th, 2008 at 2:52 am
I am laughing hysterically at those who root for homeschooling, as if it is the ONLY way their egg-shelled brats could ever get a proper & righteous education. I used to cringe when I had to share the pool or gym space with the HS cretins & their BPE mommies because they were the most obnoxious & rude kids I had to deal with. I had worked with many children from abusive families & not even the worst of them could hold a candle to an HS brat. I found myself thinking of homeschooling before becoming a parent & thank my husband for snapping me out of my idiocy. Not all schools are filled with raging orgies & some actually have teachers who teach. If you are not fond of your local schools, haul ass out to an area that has a school, full of the blessed offspring of BPE’s who claim that the fruit of their loins are far superior & that their schools are so much better because of it. I’ve personally been to schools in many different sectors & financial districts in Ye Olde Toxic State (New Jersey) & it made for a well rounded education & acceptance of others, no matter what size paycheck Daddy (or heavens forfend, Mommy) brings home. Keep your home schooled heathen far away from me & mine, I’ve grown weary of them peeing on the pool deck & rummaging through my bag. You learn social values in a social setting, not by mommy teaching you readin’, writin’, & ‘rithmatic with a healthy heaping of Jeeeeebus!
January 12th, 2009 at 2:37 am
“And, if your child is part of a church, they get exactly the kind of social interaction a school provides.”
No. The idea is to learn to interact with people DIFFERENT than you. Not other white, brainwashed, rich, (or pseudo-rich) BPE brats…all with Jesus watching.
January 12th, 2009 at 2:40 am
Val
“Most Best Parents look down on homeschooling because it “hurts their children socially” and *gasp* might teach them too much religion. Seriously, dude, this is coming from someone who was homeschooled growing up and is now homeschooling her kids. BPE’s do not approve of this decision. They think all homeschoolers are hippies or hillbillies.”
Hate to break it to you Val, but you’re a BPE.
April 5th, 2009 at 3:04 am
“- you are not the center of the universe. Those other children, and the teacher are just as important as you.
– you are sharing space in this town, city, neighborhood, whatever with the smart kids, the dumb kids, the poor kids and the butt ugly kids. And every single one of them has as much right to be here as you, my little precious.
– you are part of a community, and it matters. Public matters. In public, we tolerate people, even BPE brats.”
Well that explains why the government schools in my state are performing so poorly. Maybe those schools should be teaching academics instead?
April 5th, 2009 at 3:16 am
“Only public is public and I feel there is intrinsic value in that.”
And homeschooler don’t use the public library, the public post office, the public roads and sidewalks? No, actually it’s the homeschoolers that make the “public” in my town so nice. They are the ones who plant flowers and trees in town. They are the ones who organize clean-ups in the parks and streams. And although school children play at the parks and ball fields – they are the ones trashing the place – not cleaning it up! (Unless they are in scouts or some other community-wise group)
I’ve had two school children respond with ignorance when my homeschooled kid mentioned the public library. Both of those kids knew that their school had a library but didn’t know about the “public” library in their own town! I wonder how many other kids don’t know about the public library?
We belong to the YMCA. The staff there has also mentioned the differences in homeschoolers and school children, only it’s the school kids who are out of hand, disrespectful and rude. I find it hard to believe that homeschoolers would get this type of attitude, being that their parent is with them most of the day…I flat out believe you’re lying!
April 5th, 2009 at 3:29 am
KayleesMom – I can flat-out guarantee you that your kids would prefer the social lives of MY kids over theirs ANY day!
I threaten my kids with school when they misbehave – they want no part of it! Why? Because spending their days at a desk is just not as enticing as spending it at the park, the zoo, a co-op, the library, the Y, the bowling alley and skating rink. You see it doesn’t take 6 hours to educate a child so forcing the 6 hours of desk time is not educational, nor is it socializing. Besides, the kid is supposed to be listening in class, not socializing! At home, you can spend two hours at the desk and the rest of the day is hands-on, fun learning.
Anyone who thinks all homeschoolers are at home all day are seriously mistaken. We have ONE day per week when nothing is scheduled except soccer practice. During the off season, we actually spend that day at home because we enjoy it! But we still only spend the two hours at the desk, the rest of the day is again – fun learning. I feel sorry for the kids who are tied to a desk for 6 hours. That is what I would consider “caged”! My kids do their work at a picnic table most days – outside, enjoying the sunshine…that’s hardly “caged”.
November 1st, 2009 at 11:40 pm
I’ll be home educating mine, mostly because I actually believe I have a lot to teach my kids and want to spend lots of time with them, and partly because I want to avoid the accursed ‘school run’ and being hogtied by the schedule and demands of an institution that, after all, I hated when I was a part of it the first time around, i.e. as a kid.
January 17th, 2010 at 6:14 am
This works for me. I know some homeschooling moms who are sooooo BPE in their own way…attachment devotees, baby-wearing, baby-food making, holier-than-thou…
Laura was home schooled part of the time. But Ma was not a BPE.
Public schools are scary in many cases.
The post is still funny. People grow a sense of humor! None of these posts is 100% accurate for all who adhere to whatever the topic is. Lighten up.