The Best Parent Ever is better than you because they care enough for their children to dress them exactly like themselves.

Some might think a parent-child matching outfit is tacky. But not the Best Parent Ever. They know that the most important thing about a child is how he or she compliments The One Who Birthed Them. Children are like soft lighting or tequila – when used properly, they will completely enhance the appearance of ANYONE. And what’s more complimentary than swaddling one’s spawn in the exact same apparel sheathing your own middle-aged paunch and/or buttocks?

It’s all so simple: children are at their best when they are presented as exact, carbon copy, rubber stamp clones of the greatest person that ever lived… The Best Parent Ever. If you have not left the house recently with your child clad like a demented, baby-talking parental Mini-me of yourself, you obviously don’t love them. Or at least not as much as The Best Parent Ever.

So take that, D.N.A.! You may pass on all kinds of genetic material that make children look, act, and think almost exactly like their parents. But for the Best Parent Ever, that’s just not enough. Their children must dress exactly like them as well. They will be ordering two shirts now – one in extra-large adult, and one in toddler size. Same style, same color, same message: “We are so much better than you.”

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