Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008...6:11 pm
#55: Professional Nursery Decorators
For the Best Parent Ever, there is no better way to say “I love you” to a child than by hiring someone else to say it for them.
No, we’re not talking about the ample supply of nannies, parenting coaches, and high-end preschool teachers. This is a more subtle and profound expression: decorating the nursery. This is where most parents can personally remind their child just how special and precious they really are to them.
Unless they’re the Best Parent Ever. Then they can hire a professional Nursery Decorator to do the work for them. Crib placement? Color selection? Coordinating the stuffed animals? This is challenging work for the Best Parent Ever.
| Is it yet another sign of the Apocalypse when successful, well-educated parents are unable to figure out where to put the crib in the child’s room? Or must every child’s personal space look like it was art-directed by some primary-color-salivating, mescaline-crazed Tim Burton wannabe?? |
Either way, it doesn’t matter. Because everyone knows the Best Parent Ever is a co-sleeper. That custom-painted mural and professionally-“antiqued” rocking horse will soon gather dust beside the urine-resistant shabby-chic crib bumpers and organic mattress. Our governments should forget about building new oil pipelines and just open some kind of high-speed tubular delivery system from the professionally-decorated nursery to the nearest thrift store to handle all this new found BPE crude.
So take that, sheep! You will not be counted by the children of the Best Parent Ever, unless you’re hopping over a $14,000 Fantasy Carriage Crib. After all, anyone can sleep. Only the Best Parent Ever can pay someone a fortune to decorate their child’s bedroom.
For more “helpful” parenting tips, join the BPE Discussion Board!
14 Comments
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Mescaline crazed Tim Burton wannabe? Roflmfao
NOICE!
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Is it just me or does that crib look like a big ol’ bird cage?
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Do tempur-pedic mattresses count? I just bought one for each of my three kids. I just want to make sure I’m one of those Best Parents Ever.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Classic! So true about the co-sleeping. After all, what self-respecting BPE is going to let their baby cry it out, alone in the nursery–$14,000 crib or not. None that I know.
September 25th, 2008 at 5:10 am
That nursery does look kinda cool though.. Although I’m sure it’d scare the bejesus out of a baby!
September 25th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
oh gee, I’m a best parent ever. My kids both have Sealy Posturepedics, because WE CO SLEEP!
September 26th, 2008 at 1:10 am
The crib is creepy….something you’d see in a horror movie for sure!
September 29th, 2008 at 2:34 am
i actually like the crib. hrm.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:16 am
Even if I could afford to do a professional nursery makeover, I couldn’t bring myself to be associated with the types of people who do them!
October 5th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Sure I would spend such money if I had it, in theory. Why not? It’s not as if being frugal with the actual money you’ve got helps the economy, and if something (even an expensive something) makes you happy, go for it. The only thing that would keep me from spending like this is the fact that I’d want to decorate a riducule-worthy type expensive nursery on my own.
October 31st, 2008 at 5:33 pm
New entry! New entry! New entry!
November 29th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
I bet that these kinds of nurseries are for people who want to decorate a room no matter what is in it (a study, a baby, a game room)…and they most likely didn’t really want to be parents in the first place. Just my guess, though.
December 10th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I think it is neat but… There was a discussion on a message board about J Lo’s nursery that bashed it for safety reasons. I wish I could recall which one. I mean really would the BPE put their child in danger for the sake of a trendy bedroom. HMMMMMM….