Thursday, March 13th, 2008...12:25 am
#1: $1000 Strollers
Expensive strollers are a must-have for Best Parents. It doesn’t matter if the stroller is cumbersome and doesn’t fold easily into the trunk. It’s status that counts. If you’re sporting a $1000 stroller, it means you love your child more than other parents, and will only give them the absolute best.
Best Parents will go to any length to show off their expensive stroller. Farmers Markets in upscale neighborhoods exist solely as a showcase for Best Parents to show off their $1000 strollers.
Also, Best Parents can’t just have the $1000 stroller by itself. They need accessories. And the more accessories they have, the better. Who can live without a parasol AND a sun canopy? Parents who don’t love their children as much as Best Parents do.
Most importantly, Best Parents are trying to inspire their non-white nannies. By having their nanny push a stroller that cost more than one month of her salary, the nanny will certainly have that kick in the pants she needed to get her ass in gear and become a legal citizen.
If you encounter a Best Parent pushing their $1000 stroller, and you’re pushing your stroller from Wal*Mart, don’t sweat it too much. You’ve already made the Best Parent’s day. After all, the main goal of a Best Parent is to feel superior.
9 Comments
March 20th, 2008 at 3:58 am
If you find that you can’t splurge on the $1,000 Bugaboo stroller and matching accessories, you can at least try to show whiteness by spending $300 or so on a Britax carseat. They seem to be THE carseat to have among the white parents I know. Most buy two Britax seats - one for each car, even though Dad rarely goes anywhere with the kid.
STUFF WHITE PARENTS LIKE: This will probably be a future post… although resourceful Dads everywhere realize that they can turn that extra Britax seat into a cooler for beer.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
[...] Stuff White Parents Like- So Funny! http://stuffwhiteparentslike.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/1-1000-strollers/ [...]
March 26th, 2008 at 1:50 am
don’t forget the carseats..they go crazy over the proper car seat…in a car seat til what age?
THE WHITE PARENT RESPONDS:
At least until 18. Maybe even 21. Yes, we know it’s hard to drive and reach the steering wheel from a 5-point-harness Britax in the backseat, but at least he will be safe. And won’t his future girlfriends appreciate his concerns for safety?
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
$1000 for a stroller?! I about pooped myself when my wife brought home a $150 stroller.
0 for 1 for this white parent.
April 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
OMG this is so cliche… i LOVE IT
April 21st, 2008 at 12:46 am
You forgot to mention that white parents also push their children around in stroller until they go to college.
If the kid can walk and run and cuss you out in a store, his ass needs to be walking. If he can undo the belt of his stroller and remove himself… WALK!!!
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Pretty funny stuff…I did notice that black people push their babies in a $2 stroller. They fold better and it’s easy to store them in the $100k bling bling Escalade.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Thanks for submitting your post to the Mommy Blog Carnival. I’ve included it in the next edition on May 15th hosted at my own site The So Called Me. Be sure to stop by and see what other participants are talking about!
Have an awesome day!
April 28th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
This article has been included in the latest edition of Mom’s Blogging Carnival
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