Thursday, March 13th, 2008...12:27 am
#2: Dumb Baby Names
One of the most important decisions for the Best Parent is coming up with a dumb baby name. Best Parents will spend countless hours pouring over popular baby name books and websites. They will also call all of their pregnant friends to make sure their dumb baby name is better.
Best parents are not interested in preserving their family heritage. Unlike more traditional parents, they will not even consider a biblical name, or a name that’s been carried down through generations. Instead, they will choose a name that is “distinctive” enough to stand alone in the celebrity gossip magazines, which they are sure their child is destined for.
|Random location names work just as well for the Best Parent. They are quite happy naming their child after states, such as Alabama or Dakota. Or, after dumpy little desert towns on the California/Nevada border, such as Xyzxyz.|
Best Parents also have no problems plundering native cultures. It doesn’t matter that they’ve never met anyone named Asha or Shilo. These are the names that will look best on their child’s future wedding invitation.
If you happen to encounter a Best Parent whose child has a dumb baby name, you’ll score major points by asking them what the spiritual meaning is.
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