Thursday, March 13th, 2008...12:27 am
#2: Dumb Baby Names
One of the most important decisions for the Best Parent is coming up with a dumb baby name. Best Parents will spend countless hours pouring over popular baby name books and websites. They will also call all of their pregnant friends to make sure their dumb baby name is better.
Best parents are not interested in preserving their family heritage. Unlike more traditional parents, they will not even consider a biblical name, or a name that’s been carried down through generations. Instead, they will choose a name that is “distinctive” enough to stand alone in the celebrity gossip magazines, which they are sure their child is destined for.
| Random location names work just as well for the Best Parent. They are quite happy naming their child after states, such as Alabama or Dakota. Or, after dumpy little desert towns on the California/Nevada border, such as Xyzxyz. |
Best Parents also have no problems plundering native cultures. It doesn’t matter that they’ve never met anyone named Asha or Shilo. These are the names that will look best on their child’s future wedding invitation.
If you happen to encounter a Best Parent whose child has a dumb baby name, you’ll score major points by asking them what the spiritual meaning is.
For more “helpful” parenting tips, join the BPE Discussion Board!
108 Comments
March 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Looks like White parents and Black parents have a whole helluvalot in common-LOL!
March 19th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Shiloh is Hebrew, filing it under the Biblical section of hipster baby names, not, alas, native.
March 20th, 2008 at 3:06 am
I have a cousin who named his kids: Sierra(girl) and Dakota(boy) unfortunately his wife and he ran out of originality and named the youngest, a girl, Riley.
Go figure.
Tragic really.
March 20th, 2008 at 4:02 am
It’s not necessarily “dumb” baby names that are the rage among white parents - names must be unique (making up a totally odd and unpronouncable spelling qualifies a name as “unique” even if it’s really just Amy, spelled Aighymee) but also somewhat pretentious in order to give the appearance that the child is somehow better than the other drooling tots on the playground, simply because of his or her name.
March 20th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
These days white parents are going for international names like Arabic, Indian, etc. which I feel is just weird. Stick to normal names, like Mary, Lisa and John ,people!
March 21st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
So…International names are NOT “normal”? Wow.
March 23rd, 2008 at 4:46 am
The effort to use a name that is different is important if you don’t want your child saddled with the baggage of the names already in use.
Unfortunately, this leads to longer names.
Name your child ‘Britney’ or ‘Abdul’ and just try to imagine all the stereotyping they will face.
Besides, a name should be unique in some regard - or are we just raising a generation of robots?
March 26th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Where does one go to see if they have a dumb name?
March 27th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I fear the names of the future generation
There will be countless kids named Keanu, Oprah, Barack, and Rivers.
March 28th, 2008 at 7:44 am
What constitutes a “normal” name changes over time. A hundred years ago it was stuff like Horatio, Abraham, and Wilbur. Nows its Mike, Jimmy and Todd.
Of course, what is so dumb about being “unique”. Yeah, everyone should have like the same name, it’ll make life so much more interesting.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:42 am
Well, I think white people like to name their kids unique names, because as a child they had a name that was so common. In the 70s, there was only really four names, Jennifer, John, Robert, and Sarah. White parents dont want their children to have to live through the pain of being “Jennifer A” or “Robert (called bobby when he was a child in elementary school) D”. They dont want their children to have to deal with someone calling their name and not meaning them, but the other Jennifer, no not that Jennifer, the other other Jennifer. As stated white people are really all about themselves, they dont want to have to eventually hear their children tell them that there are 5 other girls in class with the same name, and also how white people use unique names to benefit their daily lives. They will name their son Elton or Tox (or somthing with unique letters such as K, Q, U, X, possibly even naming them Qukx and will tell people it sounds like a mixture between quacks and quick and telling you its sounded out as qughcks) so if they ever lose them in Whole Foods it will be easy for them to be recovered because their will be only one Tox or Elton in the store to respond. Also it is an instant conversation stater, and it allows the white parent, and eventually the white child, to explain the meaning to make the conversasion more personal, and that would help in letting people know more about you while also showing superiority in your parents creativity. But sadly, all these unique white names will be common as well, and we will have a world filled with Avas, and Max, and Shilohs, and Pax, that eventually, naming children Jennifer will become the new “it” name because it shows how you are authentic and dont play into fads of naming kids unique names, which thus the white person is doing in naming their child Jennifer so their childr will have a unique name in a world filled with Avas and Emmes.
March 31st, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Hmmm… R2D2 isn’t bad, but I’d abbreviate it to “Artou” and claim it was French.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Datamonkey, that’s brilliant, you should use that as a pick up line. If I weren’t taken I’d have your baby, ha!
April 1st, 2008 at 10:31 pm
The first two boys and first two girls were once named for their grandparents. Evidently it ’s been a few generations since grandparents were worthy of having children named for them.
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:59 pm
I was laughing at your article, until I saw you had a picture of the name “Mia”, which is my daughter’s name. When we named her, I didn’t know any Mia’s. Now everybody’s g-d named Mia.
But more significantly, I am a non-white person whose been trying to be white for a long time. So I guess I finally got it right. White at last!
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Uhura (first post)? What kind of name is that?
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:05 am
This generation of unpronouncable, oddly spelt and just down right weird named kids will return to naming their children Jennifer, John, Robert and Sarah. Matthew, Mark and Luke may even become popular again. Parents want their child to be the smartest and most successful, but they will never be able to spell their names!! Or is that why parents give their cherished little one a name that is so oddly spelt because they themselves could in fact never spell to begin with? Parenting has become one big competition… forget about all the material items that cost big$$$ Sit down with your baby and give them a hug and kiss. Babies care most about love.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
My kids have normal names.
0 for 2.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:57 am
Is Mia not a typical name????? That is my daughter’s name…Maybe Mia is exotic to whites???? PS I am not white
April 4th, 2008 at 2:52 am
My first (real!) name is unfortunately one of the rare but unfortunate ones to have various spellings that are all kind of equally popular in spelling. As is, try to have to clarify the spelling of all three parts of your name — first, middle, AND last — because there are multiple popular spellings, as that your last name is misspelled constantly because you live near a town that is pronounced the same way, but spelled differently or people just unfortunately mispronounce your name all the time.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Almost as bad as dumb names are ‘clever’ names, or rather dumb parents who think giving their kids ‘clever’ names is ‘cute’. For example, a friend of my husband is named Brent Wall, he convinced his wife to name their son….BRICK. Which I think is neither clever nor cute! I will spare further examples, saddly I know many.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
I know a white couple who named their kid Blanca. If they named their next kid Ivory, I would probably die laughing.
April 24th, 2008 at 2:19 am
How is this for a name…
Xy. Yup, X and then Y. We know a couple who named their daughter Xy. Pronounced like the word die but with a Z. Now that is some serious whiteage. I don’t think I could even dream up a more dumb name. That takes the cake for me folks.
April 24th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Zephaniah is the name of one of my cousin
and I came across a college president today named Metropolis.
April 24th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I have a cousin maed Zephaniah
I came across a college president today named Metropolis and I also have another cousin I just remembered name Neveah (Heaven spelled backwards)
April 25th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I would have to say any boy or girl named Skyler, I know one of each, takes the cake. RETARDED! Who names their Kid Skyler?
You might as well name your son Sebastian or Fabio and then question yourself when you son grows up limp wristed!
Great post btw.
http://www.platenuts.com
April 26th, 2008 at 4:07 am
I heard of a Blade recently. Just cruel.
And there’s relatives of a well-known footballer in Melbourne who named their kid Exavier.
They were involved in a nasty family spat and the story was splashed all over the papers.
For the record, I am a traditionalist. I especially hate the way spellings are changed so an otherwise acceptable name becomes ridiculous (Dahkotah, Summah, Rhilee etc.) My daughter has a Welsh name because her daddy is Welsh. It’s fairly tame as far as Welsh names go (it’s fairly uncommon in Australia but it’s very common in Wales) because they can be a little odd.
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:39 am
“Will my children be scarred?” …I offer this to you as a subtitle for your site, gratis.
My ex-wife and I struggled always to maintain that balance between traditional, unique and less-than-stupid. This is meant to result in a three-dimensional name which, of course, can be plotted in three-dimensional space.
Will our son, Griffin, and daughter, Truly, be a) traumatized, b) popular and c) more likely to attend an Ivy League university or experience a lengthy incarceration?
In forming your answer, remember that it should plot out along x, y, z coordinates.
I would thank you for this site but I find that I will need extra melatonin to achieve a restful sleep tonight.
May 5th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
My sister-in-law taught a kid whose name was ‘Penis’ (pronounced Peh-nees).
Do I win a prize?
May 15th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I think that my husband and I (along with his sister and her hubby) are the last people of our generation to give their kids normal names–James, Elijah and Ezekiel.
Sad ain’t it?
Oh, in case you’re wondering, we’re Gen Xers (the hubbys) and Millenials (Sis in law and I).
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:02 am
Love this blog!
I highly recommend this baby names book, available on amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Superstar-Names-Jeffarious-Shanderrick-Williams/dp/0972428607
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Hee…this is really hysterical, given the Apples and other goofily named folk running about….however, it goes without saying that white parents are hardly the only folks capable of stupid names…in fact, I dare say, I quite prefer “Apple” to “Deswaniquiana” (name of a real kid that I’m teaching). At least “Apple” is a name/word you can pronounce and spell correctly.
May 27th, 2008 at 7:08 am
lol. I was wondering about the focus on white people. What about Tyreca, Dashawn, Shahneequa, Kyleen(sounds like a medicinal drug) and all the other names that are considered “black names”.
i actually read all these posts though. For the record, I named my son Mathias. It’s unique, but not way far out there.
May 28th, 2008 at 1:55 am
ezekial and elijah are not ‘normal’ names anymore…strange by me to think they are?
2 of mine are named from the Beatles….traditional enough, then one from Bob Dylan, another traditional, then one that is a mix of 3 hockey players…not one bit traditional, not one bit normal, not one bit ever heard of, ever. he cannot spell it and does not even know it is his real name, his name is the shortened version (which is a traditional name missing one letter) and the name his dad gave him is like when the child’s in trouble and you call out both first and middle names, that’s what his first name is to him, the ‘oh crap, shes calling me that, i better get my butt in gear quick!’
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
What was my college classmates mom thinking when she named her Aquanetta?
June 4th, 2008 at 2:36 am
Let’s see there’s Geri Halliwell from the Spicegirls that named her daughter Bluebell.
Who in their right mind names their kid this?
Let’s all check back in another 15-20 years & see how Apple, Shiloh, Bluebell and Suri are doing. I’m voting for they’ll be in rehab, hiding from the press or writing a book “Why I hate my mum”.
June 4th, 2008 at 2:51 am
LOL MamaDrama!
June 4th, 2008 at 3:25 am
I had a student named Smurfette….I have suggested this to pregnant friends, but their have been no takers!!
June 4th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Don’t forget the weird middle names. And there isn’t just one middle name anymore, there are two. My friend named her son Oliver Sabin Gilgamesh (lastname). Just why?
June 4th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I have two children, one has an Irish name (Ryan), the other is French (Sophie Noel). I’m Irish and French. Anyway, my SIL has a little boy named Tanner, she said if it was a girl she was going to name him Tannily (you know Tanner + Emily).
June 5th, 2008 at 9:38 am
That’s right, Jennifer B, and believe it or not, as painful as my childhood was, not one iota of it had to do with my having to suffer the “pain” of being called Jennifer B in some classes.
That is true about what is “normal” constantly changing. My mother named me after one of her best friends, and mom thought she had the most beautiful and unique name. That’s right… Jennifer was a “unique name” trend at one time. And yes it will be again, since people so avoid it now.
It’s interesting how the blog complains that no one preserves their family heritage or passes down family names. And then bubbleonfire appears to be agreeing, but complains about parents’ use of “international” names. I suppose that’s your way of saying “foreign” or “not originating from the British isles.” I love my French and Irish heritage and would love to give my (non-existent) children names that reflect that. But, according to Head Nut in Charge, I would be ridiculous to name my son Sebastian (a VERY common French name and btw the name of one of the sexiest guys I ever had a crush on as a teen) AND that I would also be causing him to become a homosexual by giving him that name. (Don’t deny it; we all know what “limp-wristed” means, and I am just surprised that anyone who thinks I can NAME my kid into sexuality is even smart enough to figure out how to turn on a computer).
Don’t get me wrong. I roll my eyes at some of the new names I hear every day. But being unique and being weird are two different things. Mia… neither unique nor weird. But very pretty. Now Ezekiel? I’m sorry but being biblical does NOT disqualify you from getting some strange looks from your kindergarten classmates. As much as the name Apple bothers me, at least the kids can pronounce and spell it.
And for the record, it seems like all the white people I grew up with who had strange names, had family names. So that’s not going to keep you from getting some strange looks. One case I can think of is my friend Xavier… named after relatives. But according to Spell Girl, a self-proclaimed traditionalist, that name is just weird (or maybe it’s not weird if that “E” is taken from the beginning).
Now as for the winners of all strange names go, when I was growing up it was the black families who were into this. Now I realize some of them could be attributed to honoring their African heritage. But we all know that’s not the case of the Aquanettas, Females, Orangejellos, etc out there. And I’m PRETTY sure the sister & brother at my school named Abc and Cde weren’t named after anyone or thing on the homeland. I just can’t believe that the anon poster knew a kid named Xy (pronounced “zee”) who was white. I would surely expect Xy to be in Abc and Cde’s family!
I do recommend that you all research these “unique” names before you seal your child’s fate with them. There are a lot of Melenas, Melaynas, Malainas, etc. out there these days (mostly on reality shows, or is it just me?). Now, this name (especially melena) just makes me cringe. Although it’s not widely known outside of the medical community, check out any medical dictionary to find that they named their kid “bloody shi#.” Aha! Just found it in a regular dictionary; didn’t know it, but it has an alternate spelling! Great! (see my website link - dictionary.com).
June 6th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I once worked at a nursery school and we had twins called Pond and River. My mum was pregnant and we had a poll going as to what we thought she would name the next one. My guess was Loch but unfortunatly I moved to a different job and never found out !
June 8th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
What’s wrong with the name Casey? Hmm?
June 10th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Are you serious???? Spending countless hours calling friends, looking at books????
Perhaps you need to rename this site http://www.bestparentadvicefromsomeonewithnokids.com
June 14th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
This will probably be the dumbest yet. My poor nieces name is Emma Nim. (That does not include her last name.) Tell me she won’t be teased in school. Her parents are not to bright, to say the least. Poor girl!!!
June 15th, 2008 at 3:18 am
I love this blog. You and I should be best friends. Or better yet, can I just stalk you and absorb some of your aura??
My kids have dumb names. My friends kids have dumb names that they have obsessed over, ended friendships over, and started family feuds over. Seriously.
For the record, my kids’ dumb names include uber trendy first names, just so they will be cool among the 18 other kids who have the same first name: 3 alone in my son’s elementary school that’s only 1st and 2nd grade, not to mention the other two at our bus stop. They they have Indian second first names, both of religious origin, not super trendy amongst the Indian parental types. In fact, they are downright dowdy among that set. Next are the biblical middle names, followed by the soon-to-be hyphenated double last name consisting of my Indian maiden name first and my then husband’s Italian last name.
Why? Because I am the real Best Parent and I’m covering my bases, just in case it becomes necessary at some point in life to claim that they were raised in a mud hut in some third world country to get scholarship money or recognition. No one needs to know that they are growing up comfortably in the suburbs…. Shhh, don’t tell….
Are my kids going to need therapy for this? Nevermind, don’t answer.
June 18th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
This website seems like a rip-off of Stuff White People Like but, obviously, not as smart or celverly written. Granted the names that people call their kids make me shake my head sometimes but … the responses on this website are even more inane. Head Nut In Charge calling the “odd” naming of someone’s kid “retarded”? How old are you?
Hey, bubbleonfire, who says that Mary, Lisa and John are “normal” names? Not in my ‘hood. What’s normal? A British name?
This seems to be a forum for people insulting ethnic names or anything that stands out. And for the record, I guess I would qualify as a white person who gave my kid a “normal” name.
June 18th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Hey Lit Chick,
Who cares?
June 20th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
two hip young dads came into the shop with three kids named Sage, Reese, and Dawson. a triple-whammy, and they all looked bored to death. connection?
June 20th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
At least white people don’t stick “La” or “Da” at the beginning of a name and then leave a capital letter in the middle. *ducks*
June 26th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
my daughter’s name is laila james….. james is a family name & we just liked laila. thought it was pretty & different, but not off the wall…
June 26th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
I agree so much. I frequent a name site, and the ‘Modern English Name’ section is ridiculous. They’ll Emily spelled Emyleighe , Hayley spelled Haiyliye, and Aiden spelled Aydenn. It’s so annoying.
June 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I nearly broke my tongue a time or two at the medical clinic where I worked. The mother of Angile and Angeli (”On-ja-lay” and “On-ja-lee” - who were two years apart, not twins as their names might imply, thank goodness) got bent completely out of shape if you called her daughters by the wrong name.
My favorite though was a doozie: Kyronnachampagne. All one word. Just like that. No hyphen.
July 8th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Stumbled upon this and I heard a really dumb (kid) name recently…Draven (he’s now 7 years old). Yep, named after the LAST name of the antihero in the movie “The Crow”.
*sigh*
July 28th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
I always hated my name. First because nobody I knew had it, and then because it was a sound effect on the Batman show in the 70’s. I never minded Pamela, but even when I pleaded with my family and friends to call me that, it never caught on.
When I started having kids, I wanted names that were easily recognized and pronounced, but that not every kid had. My first is named Brittany. She is okay on the first two criteria, but failed on the third. My second child is a son,named Cory. His middle name is James, just in case Cory ever goes the way of Leslie. He is 18, and so far so good. #3 is a girl named Kailey Paige-Marie. Except for a lot of people calling her Kiley, it has been a good choice. Next son is Hunter, then Chandler. I was worried people would think we named him after Chandler Bing on Friends. That never happened either. #6 is our 3rd girl, and I had no more girl names I liked. I had a friend with a daughter named Ryan, and I really liked it, and it fit my criteria. So, #6 is Cameryn. The ‘y’ makes it feminine. Our last was another girl, and so it had to match Cameryn. Her name is Tyler.I am sure Tyler will soon go the way of Taylor and become a name you would never give a boy, like Leslie.
I like my kids names and have no regrets. I have a friend whose son told his grandfather that he was going to grow up and marry Tyler, and Grandpa told him he had to marry a girl. LOL.
BTW, I watch a little girl named Preshus, and I see how she is teased. I would love to ask her mom why she would deliberately misspell a common word.
August 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 am
Also, the new trend seems to be MANY names. First, Middle, Last just don’t cut it any more. We recently had friends have a baby and give her SIX names. Sooo exotic.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:45 am
I knew a kid when I was about 12 yrs. old and his name was Harry. Seems normal enough right? Well his last name was Guerila. He got paged to the principal’s office all the time too so it was “would Harry Guerila please come to the office” every few days. Poor kid…he was doomed from the start!
August 10th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
This site is so racist against white people. Thought I would put in my two cents….at least white people arent naming every child they have Jesus, Juan or Maria. The strange name givers are hands down the BLACK people! At least you can pronounce white peoples names. Why does everything have to start with La-?
August 13th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Okay, so my name is getting to be popular now. When I was little though I had been named after my grandfather which I was never very happy about being a girl. Both my kids are fairly normal with Benjamin and Mackenzie (although her name was supposed to be Rachel until my husband convinced me to change it in a drug induced birthing room moment)
But the best that I have run across was a friend of mine who initially seems to be naming her kids normal names with an Xavier and Logan, but when you throw in her husbands name of Kurt and the fact that her daughter is going to be either Phoenix, Rouge, or Storm and you start getting the picture. Yup, they’re all X-men. But I think her next son who’s name is going to be Madrix Hunter Achilles has the most issues. Madrix is an xman, (obviously) but Hunter is off of wrestling (Triple H) and Achilles is because they like the movie Troy. Sigh…
August 16th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Asha is a Polish name, and a fairly common one at that. Zoe is a Greek name (means “Life”), not made up or strange at all, IMHO. Both are quite traditional in other cultures.
Is Loquatia a traditional name? How about Deshawn? Gotta say, white people may do stupd names, but black people win for weird made up ones!
My son’s name is Jamie (James Michael) and surprisingly he’s always been the only one in his class.
August 16th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
It’s actually Zzyzx.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Too funny. But black people are so not off the hook here what with the whole “Don’t listen to what the man says, just make up a name” method. A friend of a friend named her kids white names only spelled backwards. Little Semaj is so cute.
August 22nd, 2008 at 7:36 am
I believe that the strangeness of a childs name is directly proportional to the welfare payments the parents recieve. The more “unique” the more aid they receive. I also have another theory, parents who name their child after a far away state, country city etc… have never ventured more than twenty five miles outside of their single wide.
August 24th, 2008 at 2:27 am
I’m dying over here…
My SIL no lie was teaching middle school and she had a student name “Shithead” pronounced shi-theed.
September 5th, 2008 at 6:01 am
ooh i almost forgot another bad black name: Meconium, because the doctor said as he was born, “I think I see a little meconium.”
Look it up!
September 13th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
If you are going to give your kid a kre8if spelling, you hereby forfeit all right to griping about people misspelling, mispronouncing, and mistaking little Khennydee for the wrong gender.
Go ahead and name your daughter Ryan Jamez. But don’t give me a hard time if I see it written and assume she’s a boy. Name your son Dnisss, but don’t give me flack because I can’t figure out that you meant Dennis.
I give a pass to names that are actually spelled correctly and gender appropriate SOMEWHERE in the world. So Roisin (pronounced rosheen) is a legit Irish girls name. A hassle for Americans, but a legit name. KayCee just looks dumb.
October 5th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Is the writer of this article saying Casey is a dumb name? (The picture next to the title) Because there are a lot worse names out there other than casey. But I did laugh really hard when I opened this and that picture was there.
October 16th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
well i think i will call mi baby darfus chuckle brains so then it will fit mi name princess noffomo king and her baby darfud chucke brains
October 18th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I really feel sorry for the person who has to call out these names at graduation time.He or she will be doing some sweating trying to remember 200 or 300 of these names
October 18th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
how about abcdef? pronounced abs deaf!!! would the commentor on shithead happen to live in the state of washington? my brother who lives in seattle was telling me about a guy he works with whose kids go to school with both abcdef and shithead
October 19th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
My name is Matthew and I see my name misspelled more often than many unusual names because it is so common and people assume they know how to spell it. My last name is a common English last name and it gets confused with a similar Spanish name (although the Spanish name is often a first name…)
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
i believe in giving my children names that have some meaning or characteristic i wish for them. e.g. my daughter sophia elizabeth which means “wise and devoted to God” and my son alexander emanuel scott(yes, 2 middle names…)which means “the great defender, God is with us, wanderer. (scott is my husband’s middle name he stuck it in) i dont know origins or anything like that, but i do know that my children live up to their names. we should do a little resaerch on the names we intend to give our children because who wants to name their child something they think is creative and exotic only to find out that its the chinese term for “sugar substitute” (oh, come on, that last part was funny!)
October 27th, 2008 at 5:29 am
i love dumb baby names, what’s funny is that the last generation with stupid names are now breeding and giving their kids dumb names. from my local newspapers birth announcments: jayleigh and troyden welcome little tayyanah. awesome. best one i’ve ever heard though is “fantaysya” how much do you want to bet little fantaysya ends up dancing round a pole with dollar bills stuffed in her g-string?
October 27th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Why the debate around what’s a ‘bad white’ or ‘bad black’ name? Or any other nationality, for that matter? This is supposed to be a fun site - at the risk of sounding cheesy, where’s the love?
Someone I know named their son after Shakespeare’s king of the fairies…that kid is going to get a lot of teasing growing up!
October 28th, 2008 at 12:10 am
you are totally right bobicity about the stripper pole. When I was picking names for my daughter, I would announce in by best strip-club-announcer-voice, “Please welcome to stage number one …” Needless to say, there were a lot of names that did not make the cut.
We could not agree on any single name. It was so frustrating. Finally, we had the baby and the hospital told us we had to come up with something so they could put something on the birth certificate. We finally agreed on Mia (Scandinavian) Cosette (French). I always knew I wanted her name to be Cosette (after the lead in Les Miserables) but I admit that Mia, although beautiful, was a bit rushed. Cosette became her middle because Mia rolled off the tongue easier with her last name. Now I hear Mias left and right not to mention the Mama Mia jokes that I am always hearing and a little part of me wishes I had reversed the two names.
Since I had a fairly uncommon name growing up I hated it. I always wanted a common name like Tiffany or Stacie. I especially hated getting called Megan as opposed to Morgan (family name) Leanora (my great-great-grandmothers name). However, as I got older I really came to enjoy my name and was glad that I only knew a couple of other Morgans in my entire life.
As far as taking everyday names and purposely misspelling them, gross. I mean, if you are going to give them a common name, why not at least allow them to get stuff with their actual name on it (ie key chains, door plaques, etc.). As a Morgan, I never saw stuff with my name on it growing up. Do you know how frustrating it would be to see your name, just spelled… right? What, no Moreghan?
October 28th, 2008 at 6:08 am
i just don’t get the ridiculous spelling thing. seriously ITS STILL THE SAME NAME even when you replace all the vowels with y,x or q. riley, rhyly, rhyleh,ryleigh,qhryly. it doesn’t make the name more youneekque, just stupider. there are a least a hundred jetts,jhetts,jytts just in my local area. then all the coopers, hunters and masons, no butchers bakers or candlestick makers though, mores the pity. r2d2 however is a superb name! love the french pronounciation, a twin called ceethreepeeo perhaps?. that would be so cool. shame about mia though, a lovely name but now theres a million of them, it is unfortunately the new maddison (madysyn?)
November 25th, 2008 at 12:55 am
There absolutely are stupid names. My boys played with a girl named Fyness. Seriously. Who does this? Do these people love their children?
Though I’m with others of you… the stupid spelling has got to STOP! Mykkel? What?
I don’t think Dawson or Casey or Sebastian are dumb. Uncommon, yes. But otherwise normal, really. Apple? Ummm, no. I’m thinking there’s a continuum that could be applied to Mary’s corollary (which made me laugh until I cried).
November 25th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I knew this kid in high school named Ronald, which ain’ so bad, but when you are about 300 pounds and your last name is Eaten the kids will keep saying to you “Hey Ronald you been EATIN (pause) alot.
Why mother, Why?
November 28th, 2008 at 2:37 am
I’m a preschool teacher and I have kids at my school named Aspen, Hagan, Daxx and Dallan (twins), Kimble, Keeva, Conley, Jailey, Brenham, Breckett, and Keller.
January 9th, 2009 at 8:01 am
If one more person names their son Aiden my head is going to blow. The exception would be someone from Ireland with a legitimate family member bearing the same name. I am really convinced that there are more Aiden’s in the world/coming into the world than should be allowed EVER!
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:34 am
Part of the problem with determining what is a “best parent” name and what isn’t is that there are a lot of reasons to name a kid something–or not to–and it’s not always “best parent”. I come from a very large family with many people who have already taken all the “good” names and I don’t like most of them. I don’t want them to think I named my kid after them! All my favourite names are gone! T_T
So my partner and I decided to go to literature for first names and mythology for middle names (and not necessarily in our own ethnicity *gasp*). *shrug* I’m not white, so I’ll never have to be a “white parent.”
I do agree, however, that there are limits! SPELL IT RIGHT. The world doesn’t need another Hayileeigh or Chamez (pronounced James)! The world doesn’t need kids coming INTO the world with stripper names. And an object, such as an apple, is NOT a name. Next thing we’ll have kids named Britax and Bugaboo–after the status symbol strollers and carseats!
March 18th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Really interesting discussion. I am not American, so the white vs black names doesn’t have the same currency for me. We live in a very multicultural city in Australia, and meet lots of children with Indian, Italian, Irish, Japanese, etc etc names. I really appreciate traditional names, and do try to note the spelling and pronunciation (it is sometimes difficult, and our phone numbers book is littered with jottings of phonetic and correct spellings!).
Interestingly, I have found Chinese-Australians to be amongst the most traditional namers - Grace’s, Daisy’s etc, even though they have some lovely names. I too love traditional English/Irish names (my heritage), but really appreciate the colour that other cultures bring. I can also understand the level of frustration with spelling things correctly - we were very keen on an irish name for our daughter, but realised if WE spelled it correctly, she would be spelling it our for the rest of her life!
As a mother of a 7 year old daughter, what REALLY worries me is the proliferation of “Sharpay’s” we can expect to see in a couple of years. Spiteful me also hopes for some “Chi-wa-wa’s” etc etc.
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:08 am
I have a friend who has 2 children, a boy and a girl. The boys name is Ridge, and the girls name is Larken. Ugh. She is white and a wine-0!!!!!
April 28th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Hey, I’ve got an idea! White people stop giving your kids ‘Native American’ names. You don’t know what they truly mean, you can’t spell them, and you don’t say them right! You’re white, not 1/18 Cherokee. You are blonde, blue-eyed, and pale. Get a grip, idiots.
May 6th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
For some hysterical examples of this phenomenon, see http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/11.html
My mom’s a pediatric nurse, and tells me since the last set of Star Wars movies came out, she has seen several ‘Anakin’s–I guess they can hang out with the R2D2’s and C3PO’s mentioned earlier? I always wonder, don’t these parents think at all about what these names will look like on resumes in 20 years?
And what’s with giving your kid a relatively normal name, but insisting it be pronounced oddly? My daughter goes to school with an Anastasia–”Anna-STAY-sha”, right? Maybe Stacy for short? Not if you don’t want mom to smack you with a box of gluten-and-egg-free organic snacks! It’s “Ah-nah-STAH-zhee-ah,” “AH-nah” or “STAH-zhya” for short, and you better know it from the first time you meet her!
July 26th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
i just came here for a good laugh & basically all i’ve been seeing is racist comments about blacks especially, whites, indians, and so forth . sure, people do name their children dumb names but that doesn’t identify with who they are . these children shouldn’t be subject to such ignorance ..
one day apple atou shithead is gonna be your employer ; then what are ya gonna do ?
August 9th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
For the record, many cultures (the French, for example) routinely give their children multiple names. They tend to be family names or religiously based. Which category do they fall in? Your criteria are more ridiculous than the names people choose.
October 10th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
my fucking name is mykkel. i will shoot you
October 31st, 2009 at 9:33 am
My daughter is called Erica Gwendoline - Erica because I liked the way it sounds and the meaning (’eternal ruler’), and Gwendoline after her great-grandmother, a lady now sadly departed (never got to meet her) and much adored by my husband.
Child no. 2, a son, is on his way into the world in about 6 weeks’ time, and top of the names list for us at the moment is Koen, a Dutch name; I guess by some people’s standards that’s a BPE name, but again, we liked the sound and the meaning (’bold and fearless’). The middle name is likely to be Samuel, after Samuel Hahnemann, the discoverer of homoeopathy - a historical figure I have long admired.
That’s the pattern for me and my husband in our child-naming - cool-sounding first names with an awesome meaning behind them, and middle names after people we rate highly.
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:56 am
To freely bloom - that is my definition of success.
November 25th, 2009 at 2:43 am
I this dude in my class, his name is Kid Skyler MacPhail.
Do I win? LOL.
November 25th, 2009 at 2:44 am
There’s this girl in my college her name is Alabama but its spelt Alahbahma.
I almost died laughing
December 17th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Neat! I’m pregnant with my second child and can’t wait for the due date, even though I know a few things there’s plenty I don’t. Thanks for the information, you don’t know how much I appreciate it.Thanks!Darla
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:08 am
i am black and my name is mischa…
a white name. it is actually kimisha but i will totally go for
*k leb(boy)
*j keb(boy)
*artouee Dee-touee (boy)
*seithray peyouh (girl)
* and shithead!!!!!!!! omg hilarious(girl)
*dazzalioua(girl)
*rozzette(Girl)
*jouliette(girl or boy)
*cora lee(girl)
*rozalee(girl)
*tara liegh (gurl)
*annrie (for a boy or gurl)
Timmithie (boy)
*Tommee(gurl)
*timera (Girl)
*andee (girl)
Roubie(girl)
*J sen(boy)
*marla (girl)
*Nabaela(girl
*Kawlen(boy)
because personallly i love strangley spelt names
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:09 am
or mclovin
March 18th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Nice, I like it! It made me imagine great fun that my family had last year during our trip to Latvia and Estonia, when visiting Fixman playground with my kids and wondering all around those nice play towers , one of my greatest vacation memories!
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May 2nd, 2010 at 8:41 pm
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May 13th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
I hate names like Hunter- where are the Gatherers then?
A fragile boy playing with dolls is not a ‘Hunter’.
I hate obviously generated names like ‘Max Power’ ‘Cocksaurs Rex’ (joke)
‘Hunter Goldman’ or some other ‘noticeable’ or occult\Power\numberology names that Illuminati\ elite parents give their kids because they know for a fact that names affects some life factors.
They won’t name their tots after undesirable professions or pornstars (maybe).
Some parents name their kids using some occult system to ‘destiny guide’ their kids names, for example.
Seriously.
May 20th, 2010 at 9:28 am
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May 26th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
As well as the necessities of food and water in the bunkers, they will also have items such as seeds for growing their own produce over the years. These seeds will start a new life and would feed may families in the future. Some people estimate that it would be years before the soil is able to sustain life, if it ever returns to that state.
June 10th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
The comment above is insane, of course it isn’t.
June 10th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
The comment above is funny, of course it isn’t.
June 23rd, 2010 at 10:34 pm
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August 17th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
I was named after my grandmother. I would detest having to spell my name for everybody.
August 19th, 2010 at 10:39 pm
I think Lady GaGa is a madonna knockoff But I have to say her songs are catchy! I wonder if she has a nude video??
August 30th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Do you think that the Heidi Montag sex video will be leaked? I think they will do it themselves.
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