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Friday, August 8th, 2008...3:56 am

#51: The Super Parent Show

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The Best Parent Ever is not only better than you, they are master thespians, capable of presenting a powerful “dramatic” work at the slightest hint of another adult’s judgemental eye.

Haven’t we all had to sit through a command performance of “The Super Parent Show?” It’s working title is actually: “Watch Me Parent Better Than You.” It’s like a badly-acted, health-class-style skit in which one parent speaks so “sincerely” and “profoundly” to their child in public that every other parent around is compelled to listen (and “admire”). It would otherwise be comical, if not for how inadequate it makes the rest of us feel.

In truth, we all know what parents are like when no one is looking — even the most loving forebears yell at their children, ignore them, and sometimes do everything they can to get away from them. But put these same families in a social setting with other parents — say a Mommy & Me, a popular playground, or even… gasp!… a Chuck E. Cheese party — and Mommy Dearest suddenly transforms into the Blessed Mother. Who turned on the bad Afterschool Special? Normally-sane adults are now dealing with Childageddon by beatifically consoling their offspring with textbook-perfect parenting wisdom about emotions and feelings. It’s like watching Super Nanny crap out the Dali Lama on the front stoop of Sesame Street, metaphorically speaking that is.

 

So take that, Mike and Carol Brady! You and your other TV parents may be ever-wise and even-tempered family leaders, but you are nowhere near as perfect (and fictional) as this week’s very special episode of The Super Parent Show. As for the intended audience? There is no need to applaud this performance. Just wallow in your own shortcomings as parents, and that will be more than enough acclaim… for the Best Parent Ever.

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7 Comments

  • nomorewirehangers
    August 8th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    I can hear the sappy music from Full House playing in the background now… :-D If only we could all be Danny Tanner when we grew up right?

  • I know way too many of these moms, this is why I stopped going to playgroups….

  • Ah, ha, ha, ha! That was truly great. I have seen this show; the parents usually talk really loud so that you will overhear them. Talk about conceit. These are the people who go home and kiss themselves on their own hand and tell themselves how lucky the world is to have them around.

  • omg nomorewirehangers…that’s more true than anything! considering bob saget is one of the nastiest comics in stand up lol

  • I’m glad the mom’s at my playgroups aren’t like that. they even use **gasp** time outs. The other playgroup is more relaxed and too busy getting adult interaction to be the “super parent,” lol.

  • I have a friend who subscribes to everything Brazelton and Waldorf. My favorite is the “better choices chair” that she uses in place of a time-out, because you don’t want to shame your children by actually punishing them for their bad behavior. What a crock!

  • Gulp…I have done this, at times. I think it’s because I’m ashamed of how much of a harpy I can be when at home with my kid and her little voice is just going ON AND ON and I just want five minutes’ peace (and a good read of this blog). However, I did have a full-on Mummy Grump at the children’s library today, which was very liberating actually and far more fun than playing the Reasonable Parent (which I soooooo am not in real life).