Monday, March 31st, 2008...2:44 pm
#17: “Swedish” Highchairs

The last thing the Best Parent wants is their well-appointed house to look like a childcare facility – even though they have children. But how do they avoid the pest-like infestation of plastic playthings that clutter up an otherwise-stylish home once the precious offspring is transferred from womb to Best Parent living space? For years, the Best Parent has studiously assembled their furnishings straight out of the pages of Elle Décor and Architectural Digest, only to suddenly be inflicted by plastic dining gear that looks liked it was crapped out of the wrong end of a fast food establishment’s anus. Attention, non-best parents: Fisher Price and Philippe Stark do NOT mix.

Even Best Parents realize their children need something safe and durable to sit on. Alas, it must also be pathologically stylish and cost at least triple the price of any common toy store child seat. As always, companies with Swedish-sounding names have the answer. If you thought “Ikea” after reading the word “Swedish” in that last sentence, you are obviously not a Best Parent. The real Best Parent only knows these names for their children’s seating requirements:
Stokke and Svan
.
With Scandinavian curves and an environmentally-friendly beechwood finish that just screams “I care more about my children than you!” the Stokke and Svan
are meant to sit at the end of the Best Parents’ costly dining table like a piece of stylish modern art… that just happens to hold a child…and is often smeared with mushed peas, crusty milk, and that dandruff-like grit that comes from crunched-up Cheerios. But at least it’s not a Graco!
So take that, non-best parents with nothing but sturdy and colorful plastic to feed their children in! The Best Parent has turned chow time into yet another expression of their outsized and over-priced personal style.
Now… if only Versace or Vera Wang would design a stylish drool bib, family dinner would finally be something to blog home about.
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36 Comments
March 31st, 2008 at 3:14 pm
$68.95? Geeez, even that’s too high! I think I only paid about $25.00 for a high chair 6 years ago. Who pays $68.95?
March 31st, 2008 at 4:42 pm
It’s called garage sale and washing machine. Pay like $25-$40 and clean the thing up with clorox wipes and disinfectant. Anyone who pays 200+ for a high chair that the kid will use for less than 2 years is retarded and has money to burn.
March 31st, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I found your blog a couple of days ago and I must tell you that I love it!
I am not white nor am I a parent yet, but I aspire to be a White Parent when my time comes. Thank you for the great information - I read your blog with great enthusiasm as an essential part of my mom-to-be research. Because of you, people will envy me for my hip, motherly style, and, therefore, I will be the most perfect White Parent on my block!
March 31st, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I don’t have a kid but if business goes well, I will invest in one of these high chairs
April 1st, 2008 at 3:02 am
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April 1st, 2008 at 3:50 am
I was raised before the time of Sweedish highchairs but my white mother can’t get over the fact that she didn’t give my brother and I the childhood we deserved. Anything we can do to ease her pain
April 1st, 2008 at 5:49 am
“Including shame”
Hilarious!!!
Imagine that. I wish when I was younger my mother had the money to waste on an almost $300 high-chair. It must be made of platinum.
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April 1st, 2008 at 3:47 pm
How about just putting the baby on the floor?!
http://www.IGotUGGs.com
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Our highchair, that lasted through my two kids AND four nieces and nephews, cost $35.
2 of 17.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:31 am
Hmm, the photo shows a Stokke vs. a Chicco…not exactly bargain basement, unfortunately. Chiccos are still marginally accepted by the white parent, as are Peg Peregos, as long as they match the kitchen. Stokkes, while lovely, don’t jive with Pottery Barn.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Oh please, are you implying that Stokke is a Swedish brand?
That would mean being manufactured in a low cost country (in Nordic terms, at least). Come on, the Swedes come to Norway to work as our waiters and shop assistants.
No, Stokke is a Norwegian brand, made in the country with the world’s highest industry wages.
Nothing less for the Best Parent.
May 1st, 2008 at 3:41 pm
i want to look for why my mother is the best mother ever
May 5th, 2008 at 6:30 am
Nice post!!
May 6th, 2008 at 2:06 am
I have a Stokke Tripp Trapp and my son has tipped it TWICE… the first time, his teeth went through his lip and I thought it was a fluke. The second time he sprained his wrist and I tossed it. I love the way it looks, but no thanks– I’d rather my kid didn’t crack his head open while eating.
May 6th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Ikea - $15! an extra $5 if you want the tray. Perfect! Wipes clean so easily! Nothing to put in the washer… Not a “best parent” choice, obviously!
May 19th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
I don’t think it matters if you spend $300 to have the bragging rights of owning a Brand-X consumable or if you managed to purchase a functional, no-name consumable to have the bragging rights of how little you spent–both are on the same level of snobbishness. And if you think that those who spent less were “smarter” because they at least paid less for their fool’s errand, we’ll see how far that goes when their item is recalled for safety issues because it was manufactured in China.
All of you are obsessed with what you have, with what others have, what you don’t have, what others don’t have, what you and others spend, and what you and others don’t spend.
What a ridiculous way to spend your time and your children’s time.
May 20th, 2008 at 8:06 am
As beautiful as Stokke’s Svan chair is, if you read the literature it is not reccommended for children older than 1 as it is not as sturdy as a wriggling toddler needs.
We researched highchairs thoroughly before buying ours and the Svan almost came home with us based on its beautiful design but ad to the the requirements list safety and lifespan and we opted for its predecessor the Stokke Sitti which takes a child from 6 months to adulthood if well looked after. I know people who have 15 year old Stokke Sitti’s still going strong.
Also, try not to upset the Norwegians too much…Stokke was founded in the 1930’s by 2 Norwegians…not Swedes. Funny how so many people think of the Swedes when they think of Scandinavian design when it’s actually the Danes who have contributed the most, followed by the Norwegians.
May 20th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Ooops, edit that. It’s the Stokke Tripp Trapp we have and it’s brilliant. The Sitti is also a great product but nothing like the Tripp Trapp at all!!!
June 8th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
That green thing is butt ugly ! While we did have an $80 BabyTrend highchair for the boy, it was bought by his grandmother almost 5yrs ago, however he could still sit in the thing(not that he does, just could) and it has lasted us through him, babysitter kids, a nephew (who still has it).
We bought the $50 Fisherprice highchair that goes into a regular table chair for the girl and it sits in the floor instead of the chair because that is where she likes to sit.
August 14th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
I love you guys, but you’ve got it all wrong with the price issue. The Best Parent has absolutely no idea what highchairs cost (Swedish or otherwise), because the highchairs, strollers, cribs, and car seats have all been purchased by the Best Grandparents.
And to clear up a few other issues:
@ imaG: I’m writing from one now, it’s tight but the keyboard fits perfectly in the tray.
@ oregonian: Try placing it on a flat surface.
Keep up the great blogging BPE!
Have fun and stay healthy,
Dr.MOZ
September 6th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Just one comment: I’m from Norway, and “everyone” here has Tripp Trapps. The chair in the picture is a Svan, so it’s not the same thing.
IMHO you can’t really compare a Tripp Trapp to a high chair. A high chair can be used…what? Max a year or two? A Tripp Trapp will last a lifetime. It functions as a high chair when the child is a baby, a booster seat during toddlerhood, a regular chair in childhood…and as a teenager it might take the place of a desk chair. Adults sit in them too. Tripp Trapps also make great stepstools/stepladders because they’re so sturdy and you can adjust them to whatever height you want. My brother and I each had Tripp Trapps when we were growing up, and you can still use the same chairs today.
So, when you factor in the cost of a plastic high chair, a booster seat, dining chair, office chair, stepladder…and factor in that you’ll be able to use this chair for at least a couple of generations because of its quality…maybe it doesn’t look so expensive after all. Of course, compared to a high chair it does…but it’s not a high chair!
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