Best Parent Ever

Every Best Parent knows the perfect place to get sound parenting advice is through a virtual stranger.

They also know strangers always have their best interest in mind. Naturally, the easiest way for the Best Parent to hone their parenting skills is to join a Yahoo parenting group.

There are thousands, maybe even millions, of these groups. And every Best Parent belongs to at least three. This is because the Best Parent is all about communication. And by joining several Yahoo parenting groups, they are able to share their most intimate personal details with 5,000 of their closest friends, all of whom use anonymous synonyms (really, they’re that close!). And it’s the Best Parent’s duty to come up with an anonymous synonym that is even more annoying than their child’s dumb baby name.

Best Parents can ask anything on these sites, from which is the most popular preschool to what doctor has the best deal on breast implants. Answers are given at breakneck speed. Is this because the Best Parent’s advice is so important and brilliant that it must be spread across the world without delay? Nope. It’s just a way for the avid Best Parent to prove to the unfortunate lesser parent that they are STILL better than you.

This is easy for the Best Parent to do because they spend nearly every waking hour on their home computer. So then… who is watching their extra-special, Best Parent children? Why, the non-white nanny, of course. Thus, the Circle of Life for the Best Parent is complete. The ABC’s of parenting are spelled D-S-L. Take that, non-best-parents-with-real-live-friends-to-get-parenting-advice from!