Monday, April 7th, 2008...3:57 pm
#21: Giving Unwanted Advice
The Best Parent Ever is better than you, and insists on telling you this every chance they get. You are obviously not raising your child right, because there is no way you can have the seemingly-endless reservoir of knowledge the Best Parent Ever has stored up in just a few hours of “attachment parenting” classes. “You’re feeding them THAT?” the Best Parent Ever says with a withering glance. “Don’t tell me you put COW’S milk in that phthalate-laden sippy cup? And how many vaccines did you say you gave your child? Oh, and you actually BELIEVED the doctor?”
Everyone and everything is wrong, wrong, wrong, regardless of academic degrees, scientific expertise, or previous parenting experience. Only the Best Parent Ever knows how best to raise not just their child, but yours as well. Normally accustomed to politely withholding opinions on politics and religion, the Best Parent Ever jumps Frye Boots first on any opportunity to verbally bitch-slap those procreators failing to live up to their ever-shifting standards in terms of vaccines, diet, discipline, and respecting the inner child within the child.
Yes, the lesser parent understands that everyone is entitled to an opinion. But isn’t that what in-laws are for? And isn’t that why so many parents moved away from their in-laws in the first place? What is it about expelling the extra-natal contents of a swollen womb that suddenly compels otherwise normal people to proclaim their infallibility in all things parental?
Why, they’re the Best Parent Ever! So take that, responsible lesser parent. The Best Parent Ever needs to inform you that they, and they alone, know how childhood is an almost constant deluge of emotional brimstone, threatening to turn their younglings into pillars of salt at the slightest glance at television, dairy products or pediatricians who actually practice medicine. So listen to them. Because we all know how unhealthy salt is, in pillar form or otherwise.
For more “helpful” parenting tips, join the BPE Discussion Board!
32 Comments
April 8th, 2008 at 4:00 am
This is why real black mamas cant stand uppity white mamas, good stuff!
- http://www.anythingblack.net
April 8th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I thought I was the best parent ever?!?!
http://www.platenuts.com
April 29th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Hmm really? Because in my experience, people are always giving ME unwanted advice about when to wean, stop co-sleeping, etc. etc. like everything I’M doing is going to ruin my child forever. Self-righteous egomaniac. ALL parents get unwanted advice reguardless of how they parent.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I think this pretty much just applies to all parents whether they be white, black, brown, purple, blue, yellow, green, or some weird hodge-podge melange of hues.
Also, I love this blog. Wandered over here from Stuff White People Like and I find it much more entertaining.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
I know a parent like this and I can’t stand her!! She is so sure she is right about everything, even when evidence to the contrary is staring her in the face. ooooooooooooooooh I HATE HER
June 11th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
My husband is the best parent ever… since he has no children and is a step dad to my two girls. His best advice is to punish them on every. single. thing. I try to tell him if I did that I’d never leave the house bc I’d be punishing 24/7. He has no concept of looking the other way if they have an elbow on the table every once in a while but make sure they wear their bicycle helmet EVERY time. He wants to correct EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR BEHAVIOR!!!!! He has also NEVER been a 15 year old girl (my oldest) and thinks her way of thinking is the worst and we will end up supporting her for the rest of her life. Isn’t that what parents do anyway?? My 8 year old daughter is very moody and I know when and what to say to her to avoid a tantrum, but he thinks I spoil her. No, I don’t want to deal with a tantrum!! Duh!!!!
Thank you for letting me vent or I’m going to bitch slap the dog.
June 18th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I have just stumbled across this blog. This post inparticular is right on! Every word you have typed is exactly what a fellow mum I know is all about.
She has driven me to tears. Because, I, am so obviously not the Best Parent Ever. It fills me with so much guilt.
Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had in a long while.
January 9th, 2010 at 4:50 am
to lori… complain less to us, more to him
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February 9th, 2013 at 8:37 am
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!
March 13th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
Giving advice when you are a parent is a normal thing that parents should give to their children the bad thing is that some of the advice are unwanted that’s why it became bad in sight of many people well that is a good explanation and thanks for sharing.
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{Hi there|Hello}, I enjoy reading {all of|through} your {article|post|article post}. I {like|wanted} to write a little comment to support you.|
I {always|constantly|every time} spent my half an hour to read this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}’s {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content} {everyday|daily|every day|all the time} along with a {cup|mug} of coffee.|
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My {coder|programmer|developer} is trying to {persuade|convince} me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the {expenses|costs}. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using {Movable-type|WordPress} on {a number of|a variety of|numerous|several|various} websites for about a year and am {nervous|anxious|worried|concerned} about switching to another platform. I have heard {fantastic|very good|excellent|great|good} things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can {transfer|import} all my wordpress {content|posts} into it? {Any kind of|Any} help would be {really|greatly} appreciated!|
{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day}! I could have sworn I’ve {been to|visited} {this blog|this web site|this website|this site|your blog} before but after {browsing through|going through|looking at} {some of the|a few of the|many of the} {posts|articles} I realized it’s new to me. {Anyways|Anyhow|Nonetheless|Regardless}, I’m {definitely|certainly} {happy|pleased|delighted} {I found|I discovered|I came across|I stumbled upon} it and I’ll be {bookmarking|book-marking} it and checking back {frequently|regularly|often}!|
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{Hi|Hello|Hi there|Hello there|Howdy|Greetings}, {I think|I believe|I do believe|I do think|There’s no doubt that} {your site|your website|your web site|your blog} {might be|may be|could be|could possibly be} having {browser|internet browser|web browser} compatibility {issues|problems}. {When I|Whenever I} {look at your|take a look at your} {website|web site|site|blog} in Safari, it looks fine {but when|however when|however, if|however, when} opening in {Internet Explorer|IE|I.E.}, {it has|it’s got} some overlapping issues. {I just|I simply|I merely} wanted to {give you a|provide you with a} quick heads up! {Other than that|Apart from that|Besides that|Aside from that}, {fantastic|wonderful|great|excellent} {blog|website|site}!|
{A person|Someone|Somebody} {necessarily|essentially} {lend a hand|help|assist} to make {seriously|critically|significantly|severely} {articles|posts} {I would|I might|I’d} state. {This is|That is} the {first|very first} time I frequented your {web page|website page} and {to this point|so far|thus far|up to now}? I {amazed|surprised} with the {research|analysis} you made to {create|make} {this actual|this particular} {post|submit|publish|put up} {incredible|amazing|extraordinary}. {Great|Wonderful|Fantastic|Magnificent|Excellent} {task|process|activity|job}!|
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{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day|Hey there}! {I just|I simply} {would like to|want to|wish to} {give you a|offer you a} {huge|big} thumbs up {for the|for your} {great|excellent} {info|information} {you have|you’ve got|you have got} {here|right here} on this post. {I will be|I’ll be|I am} {coming back to|returning to} {your blog|your site|your website|your web site} for more soon.|
I {always|all the time|every time} used to {read|study} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} in news papers but now as I am a user of {internet|web|net} {so|thus|therefore} from now I am using net for {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content}, thanks to web.|
Your {way|method|means|mode} of {describing|explaining|telling} {everything|all|the whole thing} in this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, {all|every one} {can|be able to|be capable of} {easily|without difficulty|effortlessly|simply} {understand|know|be aware of} it, Thanks a lot.|
{Hi|Hello} there, {I found|I discovered} your {blog|website|web site|site} {by means of|via|by the use of|by way of} Google {at the same time as|whilst|even as|while} {searching for|looking for} a {similar|comparable|related} {topic|matter|subject}, your {site|web site|website} {got here|came} up, it {looks|appears|seems|seems to be|appears to be like} {good|great}. {I have|I’ve} bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
{Hello|Hi} there, {simply|just} {turned into|became|was|become|changed into} {aware of|alert to} your {blog|weblog} {thru|through|via} Google, {and found|and located} that {it is|it’s} {really|truly} informative. {I’m|I am} {gonna|going to} {watch out|be careful} for brussels. {I will|I’ll} {appreciate|be grateful} {if you|should you|when you|in the event you|in case you|for those who|if you happen to} {continue|proceed} this {in future}. {A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other people|people} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} benefited {from your|out of your} writing. Cheers!|
{I am|I’m} curious to find out what blog {system|platform} {you have been|you happen to be|you are|you’re} {working with|utilizing|using}? I’m {experiencing|having} some {minor|small} security {problems|issues} with my latest {site|website|blog} and {I would|I’d} like to find something more {safe|risk-free|safeguarded|secure}. Do you have any {solutions|suggestions|recommendations}?|
{I am|I’m} {extremely|really} impressed with your writing skills {and also|as well as} with the layout on your {blog|weblog}. Is this a paid theme or did you {customize|modify} it yourself? {Either way|Anyway} keep up the {nice|excellent} quality writing, {it’s|it is} rare to see a {nice|great} blog like this one {these days|nowadays|today}.|
{I am|I’m} {extremely|really} {inspired|impressed} {with your|together with your|along with your} writing {talents|skills|abilities} {and also|as {smartly|well|neatly} as} with the {layout|format|structure} {for your|on your|in your|to your} {blog|weblog}. {Is this|Is that this} a paid {subject|topic|subject matter|theme} or did you {customize|modify} it {yourself|your self}? {Either way|Anyway} {stay|keep} up the {nice|excellent} {quality|high quality} writing, {it’s|it is} {rare|uncommon} {to peer|to see|to look} a {nice|great} {blog|weblog} like this one {these days|nowadays|today}..|
{Hi|Hello}, Neat post. {There is|There’s} {a problem|an issue} {with your|together with your|along with your} {site|web site|website} in {internet|web} explorer, {may|might|could|would} {check|test} this? IE {still|nonetheless} is the {marketplace|market} {leader|chief} and {a large|a good|a big|a huge} {part of|section of|component to|portion of|component of|element of} {other folks|folks|other people|people} will {leave out|omit|miss|pass over} your {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} writing {due to|because of} this problem.|
{I’m|I am} not sure where {you are|you’re} getting your {info|information}, but {good|great} topic. I needs to spend some time learning {more|much more} or understanding more. Thanks for {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} {information|info} I was looking for this {information|info} for my mission.|
{Hi|Hello}, i think that i saw you visited my {blog|weblog|website|web site|site} {so|thus} i came to “return the favor”.{I am|I’m} {trying to|attempting to} find things to {improve|enhance} my {website|site|web site}!I suppose its ok to use {some of|a few of} your ideas!\
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April 19th, 2013 at 2:13 pm
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