Wednesday, June 18th, 2008...7:14 pm
#42: Educational Toys

The Best Parent Ever is better than you because they only buy educational toys for their children. These are basically the same toys you have, but better.
Just take a look around their children’s room. Are those balls? Actually, they’re age-appropriate sensory stimulation objects. Hey, a funny-looking shoebox! Try: “imagination-building discovery carton” (it says so right on the box that the box came in). Play doh? Sorry, that’s a motor-skill-enhancing manipulative. And, no, you can’t eat it. (Even though the Best Parent Ever bought the wheat and gluten-free kind — just in case).
Sure, no one should fault a parent for choosing playthings that enhance their child’s development. But sometimes a ball is just a ball. It takes the Best Parent Ever to turn it into a $34.95 educational toy. Sucker? Nope. Best Parent Ever. And in order to stay better than you they must constantly ensure their brood’s development clips along at a breakneck pace, even if it means spending extra for ambiguous-sounding curriculums accompanying every day toys (do building blocks really teach pre-math and two foreign languages?).

So take that, Raggedy Ann and Andy! What did you teach our children today? That you can still find a partner even if you wear striped kneesocks? C’mon! Get a job! If you knew anything you’d re-brand yourself as a textural awareness enhancement object. Then, you might actually sell yourself to the Best Parent Ever. But probably not.
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23 Comments
June 18th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Haha. Good post! Play is a childs work tho! They learn all the time! I wish I was still a kid
June 18th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
My 15 month old has that Raggedy Ann doll. Guess I’m not a BPE
June 18th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Funny stuff, so true…what could we call Cabbage Patch Dolls….or Bratz dolls for that matter??
June 19th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Age Appropriate Sensory Object? That is what the BPE’s are calling them these day’s? Well, I don’t know much about that, I’ve always called a ball a ball. The small, soft ones are awesome for bouncing off of young children’s heads. The look of astonishment on their little faces is hilarious to see!
June 19th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I think we could call Cabbbage Patch Kids kinda goofy and a little cute. And we can call Bratz tiny sluts who should be launched into space.
my 2 cents.
June 19th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
our cat chewed all the hands and feet off the barbies and bratz..
so… they are all stumpy.. but still have huge boobs..
June 19th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
we bought an “educational toy” for our son…because it was on sale at a secondhand store, and he started to cry when we picked him up to leave and he couldn’t play with it. yes, he is being educated…in the fine art of manipulation, that is.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Little Einsteins have a branded product that has hit the mark and buketed them a load of cash….
Great for toddlers
Chris
http://www.thevisitingbrit.com
June 21st, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Ohh.. you forgot to mention the education television too. You know, the parents that refuse to let their child watch anything that isn’t educational, then sit down themselves at night for a good dose of “education” themselves in the form of Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewhores, or House.
June 30th, 2008 at 3:46 am
Hi, even though many companies like to say that their toys are “educational”, they are really just putting Barbie in a Cap and Gown…there are actual “educational toys” that are used in schools, camps, daycares, therapist offices, etc., that actually make learning more fun, while focusing on the three learning styles - audio, visual, and tactile. Just a thought to throw out there to all of you Best Parents Ever!!
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/cparayil
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:50 pm
If one chooses to be an attentive parent, instead of a materialistic-snob-with-spawn one might realize that any toy can be educational. Toss your Bratz, Barbies, and Baby Bjorn bona fide bouncing spheres out the nearest window and spend some time with your kids.
February 6th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I agree I think there is educational value in most toys, some children just need guidance in how to incorporate there toys into educational play.
February 17th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
We have been searching high and low for good quality toys. Growing up in Germany I always remember how German toys were crafted a little better and more durable than toys here (minding that toys here are mostly made in Asia and shipped over). When I was looking for some good educational toys for my kids I came across winklestoys.com I was pretty surprised by their selection. Just ordered so I’ll update on how the shipping went but so far I was really impressed with Winkles toys.
June 14th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
I am reading through your website and recognizing every trait in my sister in law. It’s kind of scary. We have often commented on the “educational toys” thing in particular, as both parents do indeed insist that everything the kid gets be educational. I feel sorry for the kid. All of her dolls speak or light up or make noises. There is no room for imagination left at all.
July 5th, 2009 at 9:22 am
I agree with Alex that most toys have educational value. It’s up to the parents to think out of the box.
I came across a site with some activities resources for the little ones.
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:32 pm
בניית אתרים עם נט-סטייל אתרים - תוך מתן שירותי בניית דפי תוכן אינטרנטיים ברמה הגבוהה ביותר, תוך הקפדה על מחירים אטרקטיביים ושרות מעולה.
April 4th, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Check out our new WaterBlocks which enable children to build marble runs in the bath.
Thanks,
Doug
April 23rd, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Thanks Man. This is just what I’ve been searching for almost a year.
July 18th, 2011 at 6:53 pm
I’ve actually found some of the best educational toys at http://www.owirobot.com
They’re basically robot kits that you can assemble from scratch. They’ve broken them up into various difficulty levels depending on how adept you are. They have a salt water powered car, which is pretty rad. My son and I love them!
August 3rd, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Together with the whole thing that seems to be developing throughout this subject matter, all your perspectives are relatively radical. However, I am sorry, because I do not subscribe to your whole theory, all be it refreshing none the less. It appears to me that your opinions are not entirely justified and in actuality you are generally your self not wholly certain of your assertion. In any case I did appreciate looking at it.
August 5th, 2011 at 3:32 am
Children learn to solve problems (cause and effect), through play. Children also learn colors, numbers, size, and shapes.
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